His Heart; Where She'll Always Be

He sat in his car, tightly gripping the steering wheel. He caught a glimpse of her in the rearview mirror where he had left her standing. Her tears were pouring like a waterfall, they just wouldn't stop. But then again, so were his. He had never imagined leaving her like that, but something told him it would somehow make things easier. It hadn't. They had yelled at each other, said the things that neither of them ever thought of saying to one another, and made each other cry. At the end, he had told her he hated her and that she meant nothing to him. She never did.

Don't wanna try, don't wanna try
Don't wanna try no more
Don't wanna try, don't wanna try, don't wanna try...

He put the volume on the radio up and shut his eyes, trying to block her view and his thoughts. The song didn't help much, though.

I can't believe you had the nerve to say the things you said
They hurt so bad that they ended our relationship
I can't believe it; four years gone down the drain...

He thought about the past four years he had spent with her.

Oh, how I wish things would've happened so differently
I tried to save us many times, but still you couldn't see
You kept insisting, and resisting, that you would not fall again...

About how many times he had tried to put the broken pieces back together and make her understand that he wouldn't hurt her like her last boyfriend did.

And now you're tryin' to tell me that you're sorry
And you're tryin' to come back home
You're tellin' me you really need me
Cryin', beggin', both knees are on the floor...

About how many times she would run back to him, telling him how wrong she was and how much she needed him by her side.

But baby I...
Don't wanna try, don't wanna try, don't wanna try no more
You keep insistin' when you know our love is out the door
Don't wanna try, don't wanna try 'cause all we do is fight
And say the things that hurt so bad to where we both begin to cry...

About the things they had just said to each other, and how he knew neither of them meant it. About how they both cried, trying to tell each other that they still cared, despite the things they were saying.

Don't wanna try, don't wanna try, I 'bout just had enough
It's been a rough road, baby just let it go
Don't wanna try, don't wanna try, don't wanna try no more
Tell me, what's the use of holdin' on, when all we do, is hurt our love...

About how many ups and downs they had been through and neither of them had tried to let go until now.

You and I had many conversations on the telephone
Talks about one day we havin' a place of our own
Wake up in the mornin', have breakfast ready on the table...

About how many hours they had spent planning their future, and talking about spending the rest of their lives together.

But all of that just seemed so far away from me
Had to wake up, face reality
It all just seemed too good to be true
After all you put me through...

About how deep inside, he couldn't see it happening, but really wanted to believe it.

And now you're tryin' to tell me that you're sorry
And you're tryin' to come back home
You're telling me you really need me
Cryin', beggin', both knees are on the floor.
But baby I...

Don't wanna try, don't wanna try, don't wanna try no more
You keep insisting when you know our love is out the door
Don't wanna try, don't wanna try 'cause all we do is fight
And say the things that hurt so bad to where we both begin to cry
Don't wanna try, don't wanna try, I 'bout just had enough
It's been a rough road, baby just let it go
D
on't wanna try, don't wanna try, don't wanna try no more
Tell me what's the use of holdin' on, when all we do is hurt our love...

Sighing, he opened his eyes and looked back in the rearview mirror to see if she was still there. She hadn't moved an inch. She was still in the same position, glaring at his car, the tears flowing. He tore his eyes away, unable to look at her like that.

He put his fingers around the ignition, about to turn it. BANG! The gunshot blared in his ears; it was really close by. His eyes shot back to the rearview mirror in time to see her fall to the ground. He rushed to open his car door and step out, hoping that she was just trying to shield herself from the bullet, that it hadn't hit her. Part of him warned him to stay away, but he ignored it and proceeded forward, still praying that she was okay. Turning to the back of his car, he caught a glimpse of her lying on the ground, blood seeping from her ribcage through her white dress and onto the puddle of blood on the road.

"No," he whispered, falling to his knees. "No!" he yelled out, the tears beginning to sting his eyes. He crawled over to where she lay, and leaned down, taking her into his arms. Her once gleaming green eyes were beginning to turn grey, her lips were becoming dry, and her skin was turning as white as snow. His tears started pouring endlessly, a few dripping onto her cheeks. "No. Babe, you can't go!" He brushed a strand of her light brown hair away from her face and placed his palm on the side of her face. "You can't leave me! I didn't mean it, I swear. I don't hate you, I love you with all my heart. I've never loved anyone as much as you, I never will. I promise, I'll make everything better, just stay with me. You mean the world to me."

She stared into his aqua blue eyes and wearily reached up and placed her hand on the side of his face. "I..." she croaked, gasping for breath. "I'm... sorry," she apologized in a barely audible voice.

"No! No, don't be, I'll fix it, I promise." He heard the sirens and the murmur of the people in the background, but he didn't care. The love of his life, the girl he was supposed to get married to, and have kids with and spend the rest of his life with, was dying right in front of his eyes.

"I... I know... we weren't... perfect," she started, her voice and body getting weaker by the second. "But... I always knew... you were... the... the one. And... I'm... I'm sorry for... For putting you through... Through all the... pain you went through... I'm sorry."

"No! Don't talk like that! You didn't put me through any pain. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry for hurting you. I never meant to. I love you so much. You know I love you, don't go!"

She gave him a small, weak smile. "I... I promise... I'll always be here. Just... call... my... name... and... I'll be... right... there. I... promise."

Starting to cry harder, he managed to lightly smile back at her. "And I promise you, I'll never leave. I'll be waiting for the day when we can be together again. I'll always be yours. Forever."

Her hand slowly slipped from his cheek and her eyes started to droop. "I..." she began. "I love you," she whispered before her eyes snapped shut and her body went still against his arms.

"NO! Babe, stay awake!" He shook her slightly. "Babe, wake up! Come on babe, you have to stay with me. Stay with me! Please!" There was no response from her. The tears began pouring harder, making his vision blur. He bent down, kissing her forehead, both her eyelids, her cheeks, the tip of her nose, and finally her lips. They felt cold against his, but he didn't care. He ran his fingers over every feature of her face, keeping a picture in his heart. His heart; where she would always be.

"NO!" he yelled as she was taken from his arms. "No, you can't take her from me. It's not her time, no! She's still young. She has a whole future ahead of her. You can't take her!" He didn't know if he was yelling at the paramedics or God, but both seemed to be ignoring him. "No," he whispered one last time as he collapsed onto the ground into the puddle of her crimson blood. "I love you, babe. I love you," he whispered into the blood, knowing she could hear him. "My heart is where you'll always be. I love you."

Playlist
Don't Wanna Try – Frankie J.