This is a short film a few of us are going to make in December. I strongly recommend checking out the songs because they're awesome. Last names have been changed to protect the amusing. Except mine, because it's pretty well-known now... :D


Shortcut

Opening Credits: Touchdown Turnaround by hellogoodbye. Kirstin is at Kassy's house (the church) and they're getting things set up. At one point, cut to the mall where Quirke looks at a picture of Kirstin and then at the necklace he's holding.

CREDIT ONE

KKCSJJ Productions Presents

CREDIT TWO

Kirstin Starrett

CREDIT THREE

Josh Quirke

CREDIT FOUR

Josh Cantelope

CREDIT FIVE

Kassy Jameson

CREDIT SIX

Stephenie Cantelope

CREDIT SEVEN

Branden Quirke

CREDIT EIGHT

(Pastor)

CREDIT NINE

Shortcut

CREDIT TEN

Directed by Carissa Hanson

(Fade to black)

--

Scene One

Scene: The food court at the mall, more specifically, on the carousel. Quirke is riding the hummingbird, looking very serious like he's on some sort of quest. He's holding onto a small bag that contains jewelry. Then his cell phone rings and he takes it out of his pocket, still looking like he's on some sort of quest.

QUIRKE

Hello?

CANTELOPE

(Muffled speech on other end)

You better get over here, you're gonna be late!

QUIRKE

(Frowns)

For what?

CANTELOPE

The wedding!

QUIRKE

What?!

CANTELOPE

It's gonna start soon! Where are you?

QUIRKE

Um… nowhere.

CANTELOPE

What are you doing?!

(Pause)

QUIRKE

…Nothing.

CANTELOPE

Well get over here!

QUIRKE

I will… I just have to, er, finish something.

CANTELOPE

Whatever, dude.

(CANTELOPE hangs up and QUIRKE looks around the carousel. He makes a motion as if to consider jumping off, but as that would probably get us in trouble with security, he will have to be resigned to waiting it out)

--

Scene Two

Scene: The church, AKA Kassy's house.

KIRSTIN

(Talking to CANTELOPE. She seems anxious)

Is Kitty here yet?

CANTELOPE

(Shrugs)

I called him and he said he's hurrying.

KIRSTIN

(Crosses her arms)

Well he better be.

CANTELOPE

He probably forgot where he parked his car.

(Cut to QUIRKE, who is still on the carousel. Then cut back to KIRSTIN and CANTELOPE)

KIRSTIN

Mmmh…

(KASSY and STEPH walk up as CANTELOPE walks away)

STEPH

What's going on?

KASSY

Where's Quirke?

KIRSTIN

(Scowls)

The big dummy's not here yet.

KASSY

(Looks at STEPH)

I'll bet you five dollars he forgot.

STEPH

(Looks wary)

…Deal.

(They shake hands. KIRSTIN looks irritated)

KIRSTIN

Ladies and gentlemen, my best friends!

BRANDEN

(From off scene)

Hey, Kirstin! Where's Josh!

(KIRSTIN looks annoyed)

CANTELOPE

Right here!

BRANDEN

No, my brother Josh!

KASSY

Your guess is as good as ours!

(KIRSTIN throws her head back and the camera focuses on it from above)

KIRSTIN

JOSSSSHHHHHHUUUUUUUAAAAAA!

--

Scene Three

Setting: Various areas. Improv of Quirke, who is now wearing sunglasses, running/driving all over creation and the occasional church scene (doesn't really need to be anything wedding-related: playing cards, talking in general, stuff like that) set to "The Notion" by FM Static. No shot should last more than twenty seconds. In the middle of the song, cut the music. Quirke pulls up to a McDonald's drive-thru window to get an ice cream cone (not the actual ordering, just the pick-up). When he drives out of the parking lot, the music starts again and the clips. The last clip should be him driving into the distance.

--

Scene Four

Setting: "The church." Kirstin is anxiously checking the clock.

(The PASTOR walks up to KIRSTIN and taps her shoulder)

PASTOR

Kirstin, we should really get started.

KIRSTIN

(Looks between the PASTOR and the clock)

I'm sure he'll be here soon. Just a few more minutes.

PASTOR

You could get someone to stand in for him so at least you'll know what to do.

KIRSTIN

(Looks at the clock one last time before sighing)

Fine… boy, when I get my hands on that big idiot…

(Notices the PASTOR's disapproving look)

Er… I'll hug him to death.

PASTOR

Nice. Real nice.

(The PASTOR walks away from a very sheepish-looking KIRSTIN. Then cut outside, where QUIRKE is speeding down the road. Then cut back inside where KIRSTIN is standing with BRANDEN. The others are sitting down doing some quick improv about any other topic besides marriage)

PASTOR

OK, so what I want you to do is-

(The doors fly open with QUIRKE standing in the middle of the entrance. Cue fanfare- Deathbed by Relient K from 09:57- 10:01. It'd be really cool if we could get the background to glow… does that make sense?)

QUIRKE

I OBJECT!

KIRSTIN

(Stares at QUIRKE)

Kitty?!

(Cue epic music- again Deathbed from 8:07-8:50 (or as long as needed). QUIRKE starts running towards KIRSTIN and BRANDEN in slow motion. The others watch with great interest. When he reaches KIRSTIN and BRANDEN, he tackles BRANDEN and things return to normal speed)

QUIRKE

(Who has BRANDEN pinned)

My own BLOOD! How could you do this?!

BRANDEN

Dude, you didn't show up and SOMEONE had to do it!

QUIRKE

MY OWN BROTHER!

(Stands up and shoots them all a distasteful look)

You're sick.

CANTELOPE

Uh… you do know this is just the rehearsal, right?

(Long silence. The camera pans over all their expressions. KASSY looks very smug and STEPH looks bitter)

QUIRKE

Oh.

(Pause)

KASSY

(In background)

OK. Pay up.

(Cut to end credits)

--

End credits: Rubber Donkey (songs to wear pants to . com). It's all wedding pictures.

Kirstin Starrett

Josh Quirke

Branden Quirke

Kassy Jameson

Josh Cantelope

Stephenie Cantelope

(Pastor)

Written and directed by Carissa Hanson

Music by

Touchdown Turnaround by hellogoodbye

The Notion by FM Static

Deathbed by Relient K

Rubber Donkey by Andrew of songs to wear pants to . com

KKCSJJ Productions © 2008


Have some ice cream and wedding cake, of course!