REVIEWS ARE APPRECIATED, NO MATTER HOW CRITICAL.

To many people in this world, mutual love is preferred before all other forms. When the one you love loves you back, that is the ultimate happiness for most people, but not for me. You see, I am in love, but my love is unreturned. Yet, this does not bother me. I can watch her smile with her full lips and freckled cheeks, those soft locks of Russian brown, and the eyes that are rimmed with lush lashes. Or maybe I'm just exaggerating because I love her. But let's not get into that, because as far as I'm concerned, if I find her beautiful then she is beautiful. Let's not get me distracted now. My point is, I don't mind just watching her and not having her feel for me in return. At least I can talk to her now without her being disgusted with me. She's a pretty wild girl, but I don't think even she would be okay with someone who swings both ways. I'm a girl too, so she'd definitely find it repulsive.

At least, that's what I keep telling myself to silent my hopes. Hoping can kill a girl.

That's why I wish I had never hoped, not on that day. I wish she had never said anything to me. I was beginning to have a small crush on someone unless, unrivaled to my love for her but still something, but this instance wavered that small wall. He was in the room when it happened, too.

My crush was avidly tapping his foot and yelling at her playfully. They were arguing about who should tell what they know first. "Do you like the guy, or do you just want to argue with me over me telling you if he likes you or not?"

She smiled. "I just like winning. So tell me if he likes me!"

They continued bickering over her maybe boyfriend who she probably doesn't even like and is just toying with. Eventually my crush broke down and told her that he didn't even know if he liked her. He never talked about her with her almost boyfriend.

"Ah, that's okay. I'll just hang out with my lover Sarah."

His eyes knit together in disbelief, "Your lover? What, you like girls now too?"

"Oh yes. I find myself quite flexible with the sexes."

I stopped writing my French on the board.

"For example," she walked up behind me and wrapped her arms around me. She always does this. It's just how out-going and uncaring she is. But it never means anything. "What would you do if I took off your pants right now?"

I stuttered, even though it was another joke. "I-I don't know. What kind of underwear am I wearing today . . . ?"

Before I could finish my thought, she unbuttoned and unzipped my pants. She then simply walked away and continued her argument with my crush. Quickly rezipping my pants, I heard a snip of what he told her. He said something of the like of being against bisexuality.

"Oh, no, I'm bi too, don't worry." It didn't bother me at the time, but I realized later what a stupid thing it was to blurt out.

My now has-been-crush looked confused. "So, wait, you're both serious?"

I made a serious face. "Do I look like I'm kidding?"

"No. But I mean, do you like each other or something?"

I bit my lip. My love was standing behind me where I couldn't see her. "I don't like anyone right now, so . . . ."

She laughed lightly and interrupted me. "He likes you, Catalina!"

"No, I have a girlfriend!" He crossed his arms in distaste and looked away from us.

"Or he's imagining us having sex . . . ."

The two of them kept arguing trivially, but I had stopped listening.

Was she just kidding? I bet I just made a fool out of myself . . . but do normal people unzip their friends' pants? No, that's just the way she is. So . . . does this mean I can hope?

Or does this mean my hope is now going to finally crush my heart?