I walked through the office building, looking around and watching my new co-workers. I had never walked into a room as the boss before. It was sort of weird. Everyone was looking at me like they were afraid I would fire them.
When I arrived at my office in the back, I let out a long sigh. Until a few weeks ago I had worked for a major publisher in New York, one of the big five. I loved my job. My clients were all New York Times Bestsellers. I regularly chatted with the producers on every morning show. I got a book featured on the Oprah Book Club. I was doing exactly what I wanted to do, living the dream. I was the envy of all of my friends in the industry.
Today, however, was my first day as the Publicity Director at Garrison Hudson Books in small town New Jersey. The fancy new title came with a pay cut, a smaller office, and a list of authors that I'd never heard of before. I knew that I had made the decision to leave my job when I married Brandon, but a fairly large part of me was already regretting it. It wasn't like it would have been impossible for me to travel to my old office in New York everyday, even after moving into Brandon's house.
I shook these thoughts from my head and put my bag behind my desk. I had scheduled a meeting to introduce myself to the staff this morning, and it would be embarrassing if I was late.
I strode into the conference room, closing the door behind me. Six people sat around the table. That was the entire publicity staff. Two publicists, two assistants, an intern, and my boss, Karen, the Marketing Director. Karen had decided to sit in to make sure that my introduction went smoothly and that there were no ill feelings about hiring some big shot from HarperCollins over people who had been with the company a long time.
"Good morning everyone. My name is Ellie Maguire, er, Lyons. If you can't tell, I'm not used to the new last name yet." I hated that I fumbled my last name, but in the last two weeks since my wedding, I'd screwed it up every time. I was pretty sure that I would continue to think of myself as a Maguire for a long time to come. "As you know I'll be taking over as Publicity Director. I thought that I would introduce myself to all of you and learn as much as I could about you before we dove into the work here. I'm quite excited about this new position and I would love to hear all of your ideas."
I went around the room, learning name and backgrounds on everyone in the room. Tony, the only man, had been there the longest. He was the Senior Publicist, and I knew that he had been expecting to get my job until I came in out of nowhere. Publishing might be a woman's game, but it is common knowledge that men tend to advance higher and faster in the industry. Tony didn't seem to be very happy that I was slowing him down. I could tell that he didn't like being passed up for some bigwig from New York. I hoped he would get over it when he got to know me.
The assistants, Stephanie and Allison, were both recent college graduates. Neither one of them had worked in the industry before getting their jobs. They had both been with the GH publicity department for about a year. They were hired on a few weeks apart when the last set of assistants took better jobs in other parts of the industry. I figured these two would probably be leaving soon too. People rarely stayed in entry level positions for more than a year or two, especially this close to New York, the hub of the publishing industry.
Candace was a senior at Rutgers. She came in three mornings a week to learn the industry. I figured that next year she'd be calling up to get an assistant job. I was perfectly fine with that. It was how the system worked, plus she was a free hand at the moment. Publicity is full of phone calls and emails. As publicists, we are constantly working to get media attention for our authors any way that we can. It's always nice to have someone else around to mail out the galleys and make our copies.
The young girls all looked at me with disinterest. I could tell that they would be friendly, they needed me for recommendation letters, after all, but they obviously thought of me as boring. In fact, the only truly friendly face in the room was Rita, the other publicist. She spoke to me with genuine interest and I could easily tell that she enjoyed her work and wanted to be successful. She sort of reminded me of myself when I was younger and I was eager to get to know her and to do my best to help her succeed in the industry.
After the brief introductions, I watched everyone leave and head back to work. Karen nodded her approval in my direction and walked back to my office with me.
"I'm impressed, Ellie. I can already tell that you live up to your hype."
"I'm hoping to. It is definitely going to be an adjustment, getting used to this small company."
Karen smiled. "I understand. I moved from New York once myself. You'll love it though. You get a lot more recognition in a company like this."
I nodded, not sure what to say to that. I opened the door to my office and Karen followed me in.
"We've been over most of the details, of course, but I did want to check in before I left you to your work."
"I appreciate that. I've been studying up on the manuscripts you gave me, and I have a few ideas. I know it won't be easy. Most of my old contacts won't even consider someone unless they've already released a major bestseller."
"We have to start a lot of things on the local level here. Occasionally we get a big hit, but it won't be anything like you were used to." She straightened up in her chair and gave me a look that said she had something important to discuss with me. "We here at GH Books know that you were the perfect choice for this position. Your resume is astounding, but we're also a family. It is a very close office, so I want to warn you that some people might not be too happy with your presence here."
"I noticed that Tony wasn't too happy to see me."
She nodded. "It's sad really. He's been here ten years, but he just doesn't get it, you know. I want you to watch him closely. He's on thin ice with the executives here. If you don't think he can cut it, we want to know."
"Of course," I said, even though I was a little shocked to be put in this position on my first day. I had never managed anyone before. I'd had an assistant, but she worked for three of us and reported to the Publicity Director same as me. I wasn't sure how I felt about coming between Tony and his dreams of moving up in this company.
"Alright, you have the list of books that are slated for fall publication. I want you to go through it today and let me know which books you think should be a priority and which of the publicists you think should cover them. Save only the most important titles for yourself. I also want you to work on setting up the publicity budget for the spring titles. You'll notice in your papers that everything is set for the fall titles."
I nodded, but I was feeling a little overwhelmed. "Absolutely, let me look over what you left for me and get back to you this afternoon."
"Fantastic. I'm looking forward to it." She hopped up and disappeared through the door to my office. Yeah, she was going to be a fun boss. She was nice enough, but the word "intense" definitely comes to mind. It wasn't surprising, many of the women I had worked with in the industry were like her. Sometimes you have to be to succeed at the level that a lot of us aspire to. I just hoped I could get there without going completely over to the Dark Side.
"Honey, I'm home," I called when I walked into what was now my house. I shook my head and laughed that I had actually said those words.
"How was the first day?" Brandon asked as he joined me in the kitchen. Brandon owned an ice rink in town, but he generally left the assistant manager in charge on Mondays so that he could get some work done on the books.
"It was definitely different than my last job."
"You knew that when you accepted it, didn't you? I mean, it's certainly not a big Manhattan publisher."
"Of course I knew that. GH Books is not HarperCollins. I guess I was just hoping to have an instant connection with my co-workers that would help me forget that fact."
"Ah, so I'm guessing someone was quite so happy to have you there."
"There was that and, I don't know. I think I just need to get used to my new life for a little while. I moved here for a reason, and I need to keep things in perspective."
Brandon wrapped his strong arms around me and pulled me close to him, dropping a kiss on the top of my head. "I know this is hard, Ellie, and I hate that you had to change your life for me."
"I didn't have to. I wanted to. I guess I just didn't realize that I would miss my old job so much. You know, I made a name for myself in New York, and it doesn't mean anything here. The whole game has changed, and, honestly, so has my name. I feel like I'm starting from the beginning again."
"But you're not. You get to make the decisions now. I remember how much you wanted more responsibility at HarperCollins. You were hoping to get a position like the one you have now."
I nodded and clung tighter to his neck. "It doesn't feel like a promotion. It feels like I'm the newbie all over again. And I am. It's not like I can call up the Today Show and pitch these authors, they'll laugh at me. I have to make new connections with the local news stations. I have to change the way I work." I paused, mad at myself for being so upset about this. "I'm sorry. I have you. I know that. It's worth it to get to come home to you every day."
"It's okay, Ellie. Marriage is an adjustment, and we need to make it together. We can't do that if you're not honest with me. Why don't we go get some dinner?"
"That would be great. Just let me get out of my work clothes."
I ran upstairs and pulled some jeans and a t-shirt out of my closet. When I wasn't at work, I preferred to wear casual clothes, especially when I was with Brandon, whose wardrobe was pretty much entirely made up of jerseys and torn jeans. He was a former hockey player. He'd made it in the minors for a while, but just when it looked like his beloved Devils where going to pick him up, a knee injury put him out of the game. He still hadn't fully recovered, and I knew how much he missed it.
I remembered the first time I had watched Brandon play hockey. We'd been twelve years old, and, even then, I knew that it was what he was meant to do. I cheered him on in high school and college as he worked toward his dream, and when it had died a few years ago, I'd been there to hold his hand the whole time. I helped him finance the rink and I watched him now as he tried to get back out there on his skates whenever he had a chance. I knew that no matter what he said, he hadn't given it up completely. He coached a little league team, he sold hockey merchandise, he ran a rink, and he prayed. We both prayed for him to be able to get back out there and play for his team.
We were just kids when we became friends, and we had been friends through high school and college. It was the injury that brought us together. He'd needed me then, and I'd needed to be needed. I fell in love with my best friend, and it was a whirlwind. We were engaged a year later and married a year after that. I was happy, I was, but a part of me thought that there was something missing.
I pushed these crazy thoughts away and went downstairs to join my husband, my best friend, for dinner. We went to our favorite diner and had a very pleasant meal before coming home and falling into bed.
A/N: This is already turning into something completely different than I thought. When I started writing it, I was exploring what it was like to start a marriage, but now it's more about hockey and a love triangle than anything else. Anyway, I guess that's how NaNo works, you just write whatever comes out. Let me know what you think about it so far. I'm not sure how often I'll update as I really only have time to work on this on the weekends, but I'll try to put it up as fast as I can. Thanks for reading. -Bridge