I started out lovestruck,

Now I'm just fuckedup.

O1.

Smother me.

Someone once told me, "Ignorance is bliss". I had always remembered, but never really understood. I mean with the kind of person I am, I like to know everything, but not today. Not when knowing everything left me heartbroken, tears were leaking out of my eyes like a waterfall. In the end of it all, the only question I am left with is why?

Hours earlier.

I pulled up into the immaculate drive way, the heavy bass of Josh's band rang throughout his large house; it almost looked like the big mansion was shaking from all the force.

I shook my head at the screaming the deep voice of my long time boyfriend, Josh Jenhikins. I was eighteen so we had been together for almost two years now. He was my first love, and first heart break but I didn't know that at this point.

Regrettably.

I glanced in my rearview mirror at my hair, chestnut curls that fell to my waist. My eyes were gray sometimes and green others, and my lips are way too big, but I was attractive enough. Confidence; how you make it through life.

I stepped out of my Volts wagon 'bug-bug", my car beeped, and I smiled excitedly when I heard the guitar skip a beat.

Josh knew I was here. I made my way to the front door, not knocking because I didn't have too. I took a right at the top of the stairs, my normal permanent smile plastered on my face, and then I turned left, and see Vicky Richardson. The girl josh had cheated on me with five months ago. I felt icy hot rage fill my veins, and if looks could kill the bitch would've melted by now.

"Hi Jadence." The blonde hissed at me, her crazy, electric blue eyes squinted viciously at me, and I almost gagged. She was just so ugly . Inside and out. Bleh.

I rolled my eyes and went to Josh's room, and found him there with D.C. Sanders, Josh's best friend since diapers. Him and I are pretty close too, truth is I've always had a teeny crush on the red head, but I'm in love with Josh. I always have been, and theat's just the way it was suppose to be in my head. I have a hard time letting people I really care about out of my life, and me and Josh have been through a lot.

I felt my already wide eyes widen.

Josh chuckled deeply, "Why do you look so scared babe?" His laugh was deep and attractive, and his sapphire eyes promised impure things. I loved his eyes, and his lips.

I felt the anger rush back to me, and my face heat up, "Your whore's here J."

He gave me a look that told me to back off, I just rolled my eyes.

"Well," D.C. flipped his phone shut with a mischievous smirk on his face, his emerald eyes lighting up in excitement. D.C. Sanders was one unique boy. "It was real nice seein' ya'll, but duty calls." He saluted us before his eyes caught mine and his smile widened. "You're looking good as always, jade. Later J."

'Yeah, later." Josh muttered under his breath, rolling his eyes. I guess josh was insecure, or maybe he knew something I didn't, because he hated it when other guys complimented me. I scooted over to him and ran my hand over his taunt stomach, up his shoulders, and feathered my hands over his face. When my fingers found his neck, he groaned. I smiled against his chest, nipping at his chest with my teeth.

"I missed you too, baby." Josh whispered his hot breath on my neck. He grabbed at my waist his strong arms still in between mine. I smirked tauntingly and nipped at his lips.

"Yeah I missed you," I gave him one last peck then backed away, reminding myself that his ex was still in his kitchen, and he had yet to say anything. "Until I ran into Vicky."

I felt my eyes harden when josh winced noticeably; he ran a hand through his short black hair, sighing in what I'm guessing is annoyance. This pissed me off.

"Jade, she's my friend." He huffed grabbing my roughly by my hips and pulling me to him. His lips captured mine in a passionate lip lock which I lost myself in, the boy could kiss. He gave me one last parting peck and smiled down at me. "I love you, okay? Only you."

I couldn't help but get a bad feeling in my stomach, but I plastered a smile on my face regardless. "I love you too. I'm gonna head out." I gave him a hug, my arms barely going around his thick shoulders; pulling back I looked at his sapphire eyes that I adored. "I don't trust her, but I love you. I'm gone."

With on last peck and a wave, I slipped out of the bands practice room and down the stairs, I was looking at the dirty floor, so I didn't notice when I was about to-

Wham!

I looked up to D.C.'s grinning face, after a minute he stretched his arm down and I took it. I smirked playfully at the red head, and gave him a hug. "Thanks you oaf!"

"Right. Your just a Shorty.' His deep voice rand in his laughter, I couldn't help the weird shiver I got from his deep rich voice, and the vibration from when he laughed. "Coming to the party tonight?"

I really paid way to much attention to D.C., for it to be healthy

His eyes were glued with mine, and he looked at me in question, "Oh, yeah. Of course I'll be here."

His smile made little butterflies explode in my stomach but I ignored it when a picture of Josh lit up in my brain. "Just watch out. She's gonna be here."

Ugh, Vicky.

Rolling my eyes I sighed tiredly, "Yeah, yeah. Bye babe I'm gonna pass out."

He chuckled to my back as I slipped through the door, I walked out the door too, "Bye beautiful."

I smiled.

-

The house was filled with smoke, and I had tunnel vision. People were humping, making out, and I had even caught one couple getting on in the hall bathroom. I passed by the engrossed teenagers and took a long chug of my drink, pushing past people in my way. I hadn't seen Josh since the beginning of the party, and about fifteen minutes ago AI started wondering why.

I winced slightly when a bulky male smashed my toe, I kept on limping in my red heals down the hallway. Turning left I found Josh's room, I slipped in. I wish I had just stayed out of there in the end.

I'll admit, I was slightly inebriated. Okay, I was wasted, but I know what sex looks like. I'll never be to messed up recognize to bodies writhing together in the bouts of ecstasy. I felt myself smirk, which in my state probably looked like a sloppy grin, I made my way over Josh's bed, intending on lifting the covers off the people and scaring them.

I didn't expect to see and naked josh grinding into Vicky.

I instantly felt the tears spring into my eyes, his blue eyes found mine, and I ran out of the room, slamming the door. I wasn't looking where I was going, thoughts of anger and sadness where invading my senses. All I wanted to do was go home, change out of these clothes, and just sleep for a week. I didn't want to think about what I was going to do, or listen to Josh's apologies.

I ran down the stairs, tears clouding my vision, I somehow made it to the bottom of the stairs, I pushed my way through the mob of people in my soon to be Ex- boyfriend's house, and made to hi front door.

"Jade!" I looked over and there was Josh standing in nothing but a sheet, I swear I saw half the females in the crowd faint. I rolled my eyes, they can have him. I gave him one last look full of hatred; I turned swiftly almost bumping into D.C. I didn't wait there to apologize, I just ran out of the door, got in my car and drove out of there as fast as I could.

My heart broke the whole car ride home.

-

A/U: Okay, so what do you think? I know it starts out a little sad but it'll get better I promise, this kind of just wrote itself, I hope you all like it please review.