Nobody Wants you
By Free the dancing Llamas
When I was three I realised that nobody wanted me…
And for quite sometime I believed this. But things change
As do ideas and fashion and really everything
Except for love.
Love, itself, does not change. Love changes you.
So thankyou, mother, father, I doubt you will have remembered me, but perchance that you stumble upon this tale, you will see that I am perfectly happy that you abandoned me. It changed me and I vowed I would never leave my own children.
It is not as if I loath you for it; after all; perhaps you had me out of wedlock and all of those children were right...perhaps I am the bastard child of a prostitute and poor fisherman. Or perhaps you did not want me; did not love me. After all; how could somebody love you; if they abandoned you at an orphanage? But no matter; I am almost grateful to you for it. I would never have met Raphael. I would be another under-satisfied homemaker among the millions.
I wish you could meet him; my darling husband. I think you would like him. But it doesn't really matter what you think; I would not care in all the world if you did not like him. But I know you would. I think after all this time; i've realised that it was not you two that I needed; it was someone to love and love me back. And I have found it in Raphael.
You probably could care less; about me; about my love; about my children. But sometimes; dear parents; whoever you are; I like to think that when I look up at the moon, you are also looking at it and thinking of me. Wondering what happened to that small, weak child who you had to leave. I like to think that your heart hurts for the child who has become me.
I think now it is time to say goodbye. I miss you; I always have and I always will. I know sometimes if I think hard enough; I can remember you two. I think you loved me. I know I loved you back. But for now; this is ok. Not knowing you hurts. But the thought of not having Raphael hurts even more.
You two - unknown parents and mere shadows in my memories - you shall always have a place in my heart. No matter how small. You have always and shall always remain there. But now it is time to go and live my life and take care of the family I always dreamed about.
Goodbye mother, goodbye father
Jean-Jacques looked up around the bedroom. Edging closer and closer to the bed, as he snuck through. He was not supposed to be in there, and he wasn't quite sure why. But he was on a mission.
A mission to find out what his mama and papa were doing that was so important that they could not play with him.
He figured it must have been something pretty important and so, like any three year old, went to investigate, leaving his nurse in the play room and venturing off.
As he got right up to the bed, he realised that it was in fact moving. This fuelled his curiosity, as did the various interesting noises being emitted from the bed. So as quickly has he could, he climbed up on to the bed.
He was shocked and perhaps a little horrified to find that his papa was on top of his Mama, with their legs wrapped around each other and they were - well he was not quite sure what on earth they were doing, but it was very interesting, and very bizarre.
And then it dawned upon him that perhaps they were playing, well it looked like they were playing. They seemed to be having a lot of fun too.
"Mama, papa, can I play?" Jean-Jacques, asked watching with confusion as his parents suddenly froze.
"Merde!" his father groaned, as his mother quickly covered them with the sheets.
"Papa said a bad word," jean-Jacques giggled, watching with delight as his parents squirmed in front of him.
"Jean, darling." His mother sighed patiently, "What on earth are you doing in here? Where is Nanny Selene?" She asked, stroking a hand, smoothing out her son's ruffled, unkempt, black hair, which at that moment much resembled his father's.
"I left her in the nursery." Jean-Jacques replied, staring at his parents, his mischievous eyes glinting.
"Go to her now, Jean." His papa replied, licking his lips, "And tell her Papa said to give you a custard tart."
"Oh really?" Jean-Jacques' eyes lit up immediately at the mention of his favourite food, "Oh thank you papa! Merci Mama!" With that the little child bounced out of the room, closing the door behind him.
"He's going to get fat if you keep doing that." Adele sighed, as Raphael pulled her into the sheets, underneath him.
"I had to spend nine months without touching you, because he was in there and then another year because he would not sleep without you," Raphael replied childishly, "I have played with my little mischief making son endlessly for weeks, and now I fully intend to make up for lost time with you."
"At which some point I shall most likely get pregnant again, and then you shall have to make up for more lost time." Adele laughed. "Actually I think I might be pregnant again." She added more seriously.
"It does not matter; I still firmly hold the belief that it does not affect your pregnancy, so let us stop wasting time, " Leaning down to kiss the beautiful woman who lay beneath him, he murmured, "I love you, ma Fleur."
Adele sighed contentedly; "I'm glad it has all worked out, darling."
"As am I," Raphael murmured; hands disappearing below the sheets.
"Mama? Papa?" A little head popped from the side of the bed, with similar features to Jean-Jaques, however the brown hair of the boy was enough to tell the difference.
"Jourdan!" Adele Shrieked pushing Raphael off of her; covering them once again with the sheets.
"Mama, what were you and Papa doing?" The little green eyed boy asked slyly.
"We were playing." Raphael sighed, pushing back hair from his forehead, "What do you want Jour?"
"Jean got a custard tart, can I have one too?" Jourdan asked, quietly, fidgeting with his shirt.
"Ah. Yes of course, go tell Nanny. In fact why don't you ask Nanny to take you and your brother out to the gardens to have some tea? And you can bring as many custard tarts as you want." His father replied, to the timid boy.
"Really? Oh Papa! Mama! Merci ,merci, merci!" The little boy skipped out of the room.
"Our children are going to be very fat and spoilt," Adele mused, pulling her husband to her for a kiss. She then whispered in his ear, tugging at it with her teeth, "Now where were we?"
A/N: Yes, folks, this is the end. Sad isn't it?
Not really. It needed to end. This is a pretty weird ending…I want to change it…
Aren't Jean-Jacques and Jourdan cute (Didn't expect twins, did you?)? I think they are. Mind you, I created them…so…anyway, I though I'd end it with a scene I'm pretty sure most of us can relate to. (I shudder to think about my traumatised childhood)
Now I shall go through and edit this story until is somewhat resembles a good story. Meanwhile for those who are interested, I'll be putting up a new story called, "Anyone but me" And this is the story of Celia and Armand.
Finally: THANKYOU TO THOSE WHO HAVE READ AND REVIEWED THIS STORY!!!!!!!!!!!! It means so much to me, to hear your feedback.
Oh man. Chapter one is in need of dire editing.
UNTIL NEXT TIME!!!!!!!!!!
Free the Dancing Llamas