It wasn't like I imagined, or what I expected to happen
I hadn't meant for things to turn out this way.
How did this happen?
Why
did this happen?

Staring at the mess I made.
The people I hurt.
Their unblinking eyes staring back at me.
Lifeless and empty.
Their deathly pale faces clogging my vision.
Looking away, my mind is assaulted by the color red.
It's everywhere.
The rancid stench assaulting my nose.
So strong, I can't breathe.
So strong, I try hard not to vomit.

I close my eyes.

But the morbid images and disgusting smell are still there.
Increased tenfold.
Forever embedded into my brain.
Why did it come down to this?
I had been just fine yesterday.
What happened to make me suddenly crack?

I try to remember
Try to recall.
They had hurt me
And that was unacceptable.

He had tried to rape me.
She had tried to kill me.
Not once,
Not twice,
But three times.

I had only meant to talk to them.
To discuss things in a mature manner
He blamed me
And she did too.

I didn't mean to.
I didn't want to.
But, they gave me no choice