i tasted it again the other day.
the reality of my (inadequate) 3.6 gpa came crashing down on me
("colleges prefer that 3.75, dear."),
and the fairies that usually danced outside my window
were gone — perhaps they knew better than to waste
their magic on me.
"it's about time you realize they don't exist,"
the World screamed at me. "life is a lot more than fairy dust and rainbows."
but i slapped my hands (with nails painted pink) over my ears
and as the clock struck 11:11 PM,
wished for the fairies with their sugar-coated wings
to fly back and dance with me.
then that Voice that only comes out when the fairies are gone
wrapped its (cold) arms around me
and hissed, "i know how to make the fairies come back."
even though i knew It was what all a lie,
the broken promises were forgotten
as It whispered encouraging words in my ear.
and the Voice handed it to me
("isn't it beautiful, my dear, the way it glistens in the light?
like your fairy dust, only better.")
and smiled with satisfaction as i draped it across my (once) pale, smooth skin,
and relief washed over (drowned) me as It shielded me from the World.
but the relief turned to fear as i traced the angry marks i made,
realizing the Voice was what had been keeping the fairies away
and i struggled out of the Voice's embrace and shoved It
out of the window.
i slept with the fairies.
A/N: honestly...i don't even know where this came from. :P we all know what made me write it, but it's just so weird. usually i don't write like this (and i am not particularly proud of this either, cos it's pretty badly written), but...i dunno.
it *is* scary, though -- how much better it makes you feel. ): seriously terrified me. i feel like such a bad person now, for breaking my promise to myself...
tell me your thoughts. :)