"Absolutely not!" he

Breathes violently into my aching ear.

Cruel and calculating, he licks my earlobe.

Deadly, almost, he runs his teeth over the soft skin.

Even angels

Fall sometimes, though after what he's done to me, I'm not quite an angel.

Going lower,

His lips trace the tendons that are standing out on my pale neck flesh

"I love you?" I gasp, mind too full of sensual euphoria to speak any other words

"Just shut up!" He groans into my clavicle, nestling in like I was his forbidden mother

Killing my faith in what is good, in what is moral, he bites me and I simply

Let him, because the girl I used to be has disappeared,

Much like the heart I traced in the fog we had created on your car window

Noticing the way your fingertips press into my flesh, you are my illegal

Opium, filling my eager nostrils with your scent of sunshine and summer and sex

Perhaps we were meant to be this way, always intertwined so lovelessly

Quietly, I allow you to degrade my little girl body with your tongue

Rape, your angry words rape me, because I'm only worth the amount of semen you spill into me

Sex is all I'm good for, you hiss, because I'm not smart enough to become anything better

Too bad, you sigh mockingly when you're done, too bad that you're so naive

Under all of this makeup, underneath my tissue paper skin, I feel something die

Very much alone (I've always been alone) you leave me on this cheap hotel bed and I ask you

Where you'll go next and you reply, "I'm off to prettier girls." The way your body moves should be

X-rated, because there is something so wrong about the way

You relieve yourself of me, like I am a piece of shit stuck to your shoe

"Zach, wait!" I cry after you, but you don't hear me (you never do.)


11.15.08