150 calories worth of

Pop Secret 94% fat-free popcorn

seem to have coaxed its way down my throat

trying to sooth the emptiness

that threatens to expose my efforts to

lose a little bit of me

by roaring hungry profanities at

anyone who will listen.


And so I

r u n.


my legs are frantic metronomes

taking my ribcage and other

somewhat beautiful body parts

farther away from the safe haven

of my mother's house that

smells of cat urine and

the popcorn that I burned

(on purpose because I like it

that way)


And now I can't

b r e a t h e.


I am hacking up the nothingness that I

so desperately wish to become.

my nose cannot stop twitching, sneezing,

trying to dispel this demon from my head

that feels like it will burst with

all the air I am inhaling

and all the air I am not

exhaling.


11.20.08