I remember the last night I was anywhere near Jake, when I got home, I screamed at the top ofmy lungs and turned off all the lights in my house. My father was working all night, which he did from time to time, being such a vital part of his company.
I wanted to make myself believe that I had wanted Jake to rape me. It made me feel better, believe it or not. Ever since I was little, Jake had always been the one person I'd always believed that if I got to know, I could love. If I couldn't love him, I wondered if there was anyone I could ever love. Or anyone that could love me.
I rang the doorbell. Vannen wasn't the person I most wanted to see right now, but I had to fix the tick in my head. And there was only one way to do that.
The door opening felt longer than the time I'd been in the hospital, but finally I saw his face. We stared at each other for a few moments, before either of us said anything.
"Well, come in! I'm glad you stopped by. I... have some news." He broke the silence.
I walked in as I asked, "What's the news?"
"It's about your dad. Some woman named Loranda Leiws went to the police, while you were in the hospital. She admitted to killing your father, Naomi." He answered.
"What? How did we not even know she existed? With all the work we did?" I was confused.
"We didn't really... do a lot of work, N."
I didn't completely believe it. "Why didn't you tell me? Earlier? Who was she? What... why'd she do it?"
Vannen was rushed, he was making coffe again. I wondered if he ever didn't drink coffee. "Well, I wanted to tell you when nobody else was around... It's your business more than theirs. They couldn't reach you, and since I was investigating, they called me... Apparently she was a girlfriend. An older one. You probably would have been in high school when she was around. They got back together, about a week before the murder... Did he mention anything? She said it just sort of happened, she'd always had a temper... Her brother collected knives. Japanese ones. I guess that means... case basically closed..."
I shoke my head. "No, that's too easy... It doesn't feel right. This was supposed to take a long time. This was supposed to... It was gonna be the focus of my time and I was going to cry when we found out what happened, and try to go over it in my head and image what happened so many times..."
Vannen didn't just the look on hi face, but just starred at me. "Do you want to see her picture?"
"What Kind of question is that? Do I want to see her-" I stopped for a second. "Actually, I do... I want to see if I remember her."
He walked across the room and opened a draywer from which he pulled out a folder. He set the folder on the table and opened it. There was a picture of a woman, it looked more like a headshot than anything, on his desk. She looked much younger than my father, perhaps in her 30s. I felt like I'd seen her before.
"Yes, I think I remember her... Nothing about her, but she looks familar..." I wanted to cry. This was what I wanted on my mind, and it wasn't right that it was suddenly over.
I put it on the backshelf for a moment and turned to Vannen. "Can I ask you something?"
He nodded. "Anything."
"How come you came to visit me in the hosptial so much?"
"What?" He wasn't expecting me to ask anything like that. "Anything" doesn't always mean anything.
"You were there more than Kate was. She's my best friend. I hardly know you. You're my private investigator. You're a vampire."
He sighed. "Well, it was my fault you ended up in there. Was it not?"
I blinked. "What?"
"I obviously upset you somehow. Then you just ran off and I followed you. But by the time I got there you'd already put yourself in from of a car." Put myself in front of that car? Did he think I was trying to get hit?
"No, it isn't you... I mean, that wasn't why I left and I didn't try to get hit I just didn't see..."
"Well if it wasn't me than what was it?" He handed me a cup of cofee. "I'm the one you ran away from."
I shock my head, sitting down at his table. "No, it isn't - well, I have a bad memory of my past and -"
"Oh God, what happened?" I hated his concern. I hated people feeling sorry for me, and that's just what I saw in his eyes when he looked at me then.
"It's not important. I don't like thinking about it. But since then, I've had trouble... getting close to anybody. I just got scared, that's all. I was thinking and I didn't see the car coming."
I almost started to have another flashback right then, but I blocked it. "This Loranda, is she in custody? When's the trial?"
I could tell he was distressed by my sudden change of topic. He honoured my request though, and answered me, "Yes, they're holding her. They still have to gather evidence, and set a date. It'll be a while."
"Oh." I said, not really focusing on what he was saying. The only thing I could think about at that moment was how much be life was like one of those movies thta nobody goes to see becuase it tries too hard to mix all the genres together. Deep down though, they're all just sappy love stories.