Lighting up a cigarette was the least of my worries. I have finally thought that something would go good for myself, but as if everything else gone wrong, this did to.... It's 1am when i head back inside and fall on my bed. I pass out as soon as I hit the pillow.

~~~~dream~~~~

This always happens. Always coming home drunk, in spite of himself. Sorry bastard.

"Well what do you want now? More sex? Money? I won't continue down this road dad. I just won't."

"Baby... *hick* you know I *hick* luuuurve ou*hick*."Jon drunkenly responds. "Noow ou comeran *hick* lay dwon*hick* Donnt *hick* sta o'er theeeer..*hick*"

"You stay away from me. I'm not going to do this anymore."I say. I know he's getting angry but I don't care. If I don't do this things will always be the same. I slowly pull me hand out from behind my back

"Now derm it. Your gonnnner do as iiiiiii *hick* say.......Watchha got theeeerr Celli.... "

"why did you have to do this to us? Why couldn't you just come home sobber? Why, why do you always come home like this? Well I don't like the beatings or the rapings and I won't deal with them anymore. And because of what you did this parasite is growing inside me......"

Your preg*hick*nant?!? Who is he? I'll*hick hick* kill him.

"Your him you bastard. Once your dealt with this will be too. Take another step and I'll kill you. I promise." I had finally had enough of everything.

"Celli *hck*why do you have to mess up everything?? Get over here. RIGHT NOW OR YOU'LL END UP LIKE YOUR MOTHER!!!!!"

::Gunshot goes off::

~twenty minutes later~

As I'm huddled in a corner, sirens are blaring outside, I just cry's for happiness. Soon the police come in pointing there guns every which way. When they see my father on the floor bleeding and me in a ball in the corner clutching a gun and crying they put their guns away and slowly get me to drop mine. They bundle me up and escort me to an ambulance, where I'm checked out.

"I'm pregnant..." I whisper .

"I'm sorry darling what?" One of the ems' say.

I look him in the eyes and say while tears are falling from mine, "I'm pregnant."

The ems guy looks at me with alarm.

"Are you sure miss?"it's the other ems guy ."...Hey Don, go get a female cop would ya?"

I guess I wasn't supposed to hear that last part but I did.

"What am I gonna do? I'm only 15 years old!!!!" I'm clutching the second ems guy now.

~~~~~~end of dream~~~~~~~

I wake up screaming in terror, in a cold sweat. 2:30 am. That was only three years ago. But it still scares the shit outa me.