Take My Pain Away

Take it all away.

Take away all the good times we shared together.

Take away what attracted me to him in the first place.

Take away his loving eyes, his gorgeous hair, his beautiful smile.

Take away his strong arms and chest.

Take away that part of him that was so good to me.

Take away the part that made me believe we were meant to be.

Take away all the sweet nothings that he whispered to me.

Take away all the times he was there for me when I had no one else to turn to.

Take away the feelings I had for him that went beyond our friendship.

Take away his kind heart, his musical skills and knowledge, his sense of humor.

Take away the romance we shared, and replace it with the friendship we once had.

Take away all the lies and deceit that came between us.

Take away all the beautiful memories together that once made me smile.

Take away the night of the lunar eclipse, the meteor "shower," and the night before he left.

Take away the nights we spent in each others' rooms, listening to music and watching the lights flash.

Take away all we ever talked about.

Take away the memory of our almost family.

Take away the ideas we'd thrown out there about the future just for fun.

Take away all the sweet moments of love and heat and passion and beauty and ecstasy.

Take away all the memories that I have of "us."

Take away everything we had, and take away my feelings just as easily so I don't feel this pain anymore, or bring him back to me…let him love me again.

Take my heart and cut it out; it'd be less painful than what I'm feeling now.

Please…it hurts so much…

I want to be his friend, like it used to be, but it hurts so much right now…I can barely take it.

I scratch myself and take pills to make the pain go away, because not thinking of him doesn't do anything. Even if I try to think of other things, my heart physically hurts, and then I get reminded of why it's hurting.

Please…erase the pain.

Erase the love I have for him.

Erase my memory of the past year so I can, just as easily as him, go back to being the way we were before without a single problem.

Or bring him back to me.

Lie to me and tell me you're still in love with me,

Because honestly, I'd rather live a lie than not have you,

Or at least, I'd rather be your friend without having to still be in love with you.

It's killing me on the inside.

I wish you still felt the same.

I wish I knew where we went wrong.

We never worked things out like we said we would; why not?

Things may have turned out better…

I guess that this really is the way things have to be.

But it doesn't stop it from hurting.

So please…

Just take all the pain away.

- November 23, 2008