I've done it twice

Both times have been stupid

Both times weren't supposed to happen

Both times have been regrettable in the sense that I deserve better

Both times I've made the mistake of trusting you

Twice I've been forced to look into your eyes and realize what an idiot I am

Twice is the number of the times I've had to grin it and bare it and pretend to be happy around you

And oh how hard pretending is

Twice I've had to pretend that I think I'm good enough for you so you'll be around me, because you say you cannot stand girls that do not have confidence in themselves

And oh faking confidence is so hard to do when I am probably the girl with the lowest self-esteem on the face of the planet

And my favorite things are the after texts you send me telling me that I am amazing and beautiful

God, I hate when you lie to me

I hate the way you make me feel like nothing

And I hate the way you do this to me

I hate those big stupid empty brown eyes of yours

And I hate the way you smile

But most of all, I hate myself for not having the confidence to tell you that I deserve better

Because I truly believe I don't and this can't be how I'm supposed to feel

And it's so hard for me to fake a smile for you because when I am around you I am miserable

And when you ask me if I like the way you do the things you do it's so hard for me to lie and tell you, yes, I do

And it's so hard for me to live with myself knowing I deserve better but still putting up with you because I am a stupid little girl who thinks the way you treat me is the best I deserve

Twice .

A/n: I am backkkkk =]

This was a poem I did in front of my whole school for a club called Rubber Ducky, which is mostly a poetry club. The theme was an extreme emotion.

Hope you enjoyed =]

R&R and I will do the same