DISCLAIMER: The characters and events depicted in this movie are entirely fictional. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, is entirely coincidental. The German town of Borthenheim is entirely fictional. This is my movie script for a British comedy set in the early 2000's about children in a British forces school. For anyone who doesn't know, a forces school is a school in another country where children go if their parents are in the army and have been posted to that other country.

A bird's eye view flying over a field filled with pretty flowers. We see a busy street in the beautiful north German town of Borthenheim. People are buying things from the market, chatting to each other and mainly just getting on with their daily business. Suddenly, the sound of engines are heard. A green Jaguar XKR zooms through the street with the terrified townspeople jumping out of the way. The Jaguar is followed by a silver Aston Martin V12 Vanquish with machine guns being fired at the Jaguar. A fat guy wearing only his underwear runs after the two cars.

FAT GUY

Give me back my car or I'll put you both in detention!!!!!!!

The two cars race through the streets, and then drift round a corner and drive into a tram subway. Suddenly the Jaguar in front crashes into a tram coming the opposite way. The Aston Martin stops and Martin Steel, a 10 year old boy with black spiky hair, steps out of the car and makes his way towards the wrecked Jaguar. He pulls out Ryan Yates, a 10 year old boy with messy blonde hair, and pins him to the car bonnet.

MARTIN

Give me back my Digimon trading cards, you arsehole!

RYAN

Make me!

Martin pulls Ryan away from the bonnet and kicks him in the nuts. Ryan keels over in pain.

RYAN

Aaaargh!!

MARTIN

Maybe that'll teach you not to touch my stuff, you snot eating fart taster!

Suddenly the Fat Guy comes running into the subway. His real name is Mr Dave Cugrugger, a teacher at the school Martin and Ryan go to. Mr Cugrugger runs up to the car wreck.

MR CUGRUGGER

You boys are in a LOT of trouble! I leave you alone in the playground for one minute and then all THIS happens all because of a stupid card game!

MARTIN

But he cheated and stole my cards!!!! And anyway, he admitted he'd rather play with Hamtaro trading cards instead!

RYAN

I DID NOT!

MARTIN

Yes you did! You admitted you fancied Boss!

RYAN

I do not fancy bloody Boss!

MARTIN

Yes you do! You want to have sex with him!

RYAN

YOU PRAT!!!!!!!!

Ryan and Martin start fighting. Mr Cugrugger immediately stops them.

MR CUGRUGGER

STOP IT, BOTH OF YOU! That's it! You're both going to detention after school! I can't put up with your constant bad behaviour!

MARTIN

But Hamtaro is the gayest TV show there is!

MR CUGRUGGER

I don't care! I can't believe that you both stole my Jaguar and Mrs Greystone's Aston Martin! It took us NINE years to save up for those cars!

Martin and Ryan look at each other.

MARTIN AND RYAN

Mrs Greystone? OH BOGIES!!!!!

Mr Cugrugger drags both boys by the ears out of the subway. They beg him to stop pulling their ears, but Mr Cugrugger ignores them and just carries on.

The opening credits roll. The opening credits are a parody of the James Bond films, with Martin in a tuxedo walking, turning and then shooting at the camera, causing blood to run down the screen.

I'm not sure if many of you will find this funny, because some of the words I used are British slang (i.e. "bogies"). I want this to be a script for a 90 minute film so how many chapters do I need since the events of this chapter probably last several minutes? The next chapter will be coming soon!