I'd like to apologize for taking ages to come up with something. I had a writer's block.
Meanwhile, Mrs Greystone's class are having their ICT lesson in the computer room. The children all sit down at their computers and log on to the internet. Martin and Ryan are sat next to each other, Denzel is at the very front of the class in front of Ryan.
I'd like you all to look up information on rainforests, copy and paste it to a word document and print it off. I don't want any funny business. Yes, I'm looking at you, Denzel.
(Sighs) Okay, miss. (Murmurs) I'll be sensible and boring.
What was that?
I said I'll be sensible and ADORING my work, miss.
Good. I especially don't want to hear any silly made up stories about being thrown out of the classroom window by a witch. You heard me, Martin and Ryan.
MARTIN AND RYAN (who are sat next to each other)
Yes, Mrs Greystone.
But Denzel doesn't listen. He types "Thomas the Tank Engine" into Google Images and starts snickering.
Hey, Ryan, look. It's your boyfriend. (Snickers while pointing to the screen)
Oh, very funny, Denzel. Now YOU'RE taking the piss out of me too? I DO NOT LOVE THOMAS THE TANK ENGINE.
Denzel begins to type the S-word in to the search bar, only reaching the first three letters. Denzel snickers.
What are you doing, Denzel?
Mrs Greystone walks up to Denzel's computer. Denzel hastily covers up the screen and presses "Backspace".
I'm…just…trying to find a good website on rainforests, miss!
I hope so.
Denzel begins to type "F…u…c"
Don't even think about it.
DENZEL (Pressing backspace)
Sorry…I'm hyper today, hehehe!
Mrs Greystone walks away. Denzel then has the ultimate joke. He types "Big Hairy Penis licking" into Google Images and presses enter.
Look, everyone! I found information on the brand new Pokémon games, Fire Red and Leaf Green!
Everyone looks at Denzel's screen, but they don't see what he said.
Some of the children say "That's disgusting!" and "Sick!". Denzel bursts out laughing. Mrs Greystone is not so impressed. Fortunately, we didn't actually see his screen.
DENZEL JACKSON, BACK OF THE CLASS, NOW! Type a 400 word essay on Mrs "Do Unto Others!"
Denzel switches places with Joshua Brown, who was originally sat at the back of the class. Denzel sits down and logs on, but doesn't obey Mrs Greystone's instructions. Instead he goes onto the internet and types something in.
Prodigious! It's PORN!!!
We don't actually see his screen to avoid an R rating. Denzel's eyes widen.
It's…it's all here! Wow, Jessica Alba strips off…
Denzel is interrupted by Mrs Greystone.
Denzel! What are you looking at?
Denzel tries to click off the page but the computer freezes. He frantically presses Control Alt Delete. The computer flashes weird colours.
Uh oh, control alt delete, control alt delete! Oh, BUGGER BUGGER BUGGER BUGGER BUGGER BUGGER BUGGER—
Suddenly, the computer explodes in his face and rips a huge hole in the classroom wall, knocking a window cleaner off his ladder. The classroom shakes. Martin hastily turns around.
What the fuck?!
Denzel's face is black like in Looney Tunes.
Oh, bugger…my glasses…
Suddenly, Denzel realises that only the MONITOR exploded, not the actual system unit! Blue sparks begin to come from the system unit, and Mrs Greystone notices.
Oh my god…RUN, CHILDREN!
Everyone runs out of the classroom just in time, as the system unit explodes destroying the entire computer room, causing flames to blast out of the hole in the wall and half of the building to shake. Mr Stirling, the science teacher with glasses and a big moustache, is teaching science in a classroom above and they feel the explosion.
You see, children? Now you know what happens if you eat too many beans.
The children in his class start writing in their books.
Meanwhile, in Australia...
G'day, mates! I'm Stan Darwin, Animal Explorer, and I'm here today to show you the outback of—
An echoed voice shouts "DEEEEEEEEENZEEEEEEEEL!!!!!!!!!"
Crikey, mate! What was that?
Right, that's about it for now, but the next chapter will be coming soon! Please review! Also I'd like to know, if this were a real film who'd play who?