This is a late-not-so-much-an-entry-entry to freak-of-spades monthly slash competition. Which you should go and look at because its awesome :)


Quite obviously slash. Don't like? Stick your head in a blender :).

Here's the challenge:

Theme is 'he who angers you conquers you'. A and B meet. Can't stand each other (for whichever reason you chose). They end up together (in whichever way you chose). How do they move from nemesis to lovers? You tell me :)


Both main characters must be over the age of 18.

Must use the words: thesaurus, Kaleidoscope, arithmetic, dusky, iridescent iridescent and question.

One character must say: "You only said that because right now, you're feeling very small inside!" (by the way, I forgot to say this in the first challenge: but you may change the punctuation of the quote if you wish so.)

MUST BE SLASH (like I need to say this)

At some point in the story, one of the MCs must do something very immature/stupid/embarrassing.


No dates: no characters can go on date, ask someone on a date, mention a date, suggest a date, etc. If you want your characters to meet up somewhere, make it imaginative and completely un-date-like.

No High School romance, unless it involves two teachers. This time around, teens are banned from this challenge.


"Well at least I'm only filling this job position up temporarily!" He snarled only to become even more infuriated when all the other man did was snort.

"Yeah right! You've been here a year for fucks sake! You're twenty-four, you've been out of university for three years and got nowhere but the same place I am now even though I'm the same age and never went to university, except I get better pay for it because I've been doing this longer."

"Only because your daddy owns this place!"

"You seem to forget that you don't have to go to university to work your way up in a job, eventually I'll own all of my dad's shops and I'll buy more and eventually I'll be doing very well for myself."

"Working in a shop all your life isn't that glamorous!"

"I find it hilarious how you're putting my job down when clearly you cant secure better."

"I bloody well can."

"So why don't you?" A smirk was lining his lips now and Matt wished more than anything else that his fist was.

"I like it here." Nathan burst out laughing and simply left the room. They both knew that Matt's poor reply meant he had no defence, Nathan had won the argument and Matt was furious because Nathan was right. It felt like he'd been to university and gotten a degree for nothing, he was stuck in a dead end job in a tiny corner shop that the father of he idiot that grated on his nerves most in the entire world owned. It was tiny and full of stupid kids who filed in before, after and in a lot of cases, during, school – making it both annoying and a little gold mine. It probably didn't help that his degree was in maths. No one gave a shit about arithmetic anymore, you didn't need too when everything was computerised. Living alone and having no one to support him meant that he couldn't really afford to move elsewhere only there were no better jobs going where he could save up a reasonable amount. It was a stupid cycle that he couldn't seem to break.


From the moment he saw the hyperactive brat enter the shop exclaiming she wanted some sweeties Matt sensed trouble. She was spinning around and racing up and down the aisles looking at everything. At the time he had been stacking one of the bottom shelves with bottles of pop but decided to move behind the till because hurricane-kid nearly poked his eye out with whatever the fuck she was waving round in her hand. Something cylindrical that's all he knew.

The mother just smiled at him and then back down at her daughter, "isn't she sweet?"

"She's lovely," he smiled back, the picture-perfect version of someone happy to watch a four year old take sweets off the shelves and lay them all over the floor for him to pick back up and restack later. How stupid was her mother anyway? Surely she wouldn't be happy if she walked into the kitchen one day and found the cupboards emptied! The girl waved at him and he resisted the urge to stick his tongue out at her.

Finally, after making more of a mess and only buying a packet of twenty-five pence sherbet, the woman took her brat away.

"I fucking hate kids. Screaming brats run round all day with chocolate round their faces and do nothing but cry and whine and annoy the hell out of me when their parents are stupid enough to take them outside."

"Pissed much?" Nathan had meandered out of the back room from whatever it was he was doing – sitting on his arse presumably, to witness the last couple of minutes of Matt's inner struggle – shut the kid up and go to prison, or keep quiet and keep his foot to himself?

"Oh well done. And," he checked his watch and found out he had ten minutes before the school finished, "the fucking bigger idiots will be here soon. You deal with them. I'm taking my break. You've been back there for ages!"

"I've been organising!"

"Well I'll take over then!" He stood up quickly and inadvertently kicked something across the floor.

"I fucking hate girls when it's their time of the month," Nathan smirked whilst going to pick up the object. "What the fuck? It's a kaleidoscope…I thought your play time was over?"

"Like its mine idiot, it's that brats. Chuck it away."

"And if she comes back for it?"

"You'll have to make something up then wont you."

Matt put it behind the counter whilst rolling his eyes. "Go to the back and do whatever then because you're pissing me off, you're being an even bigger bitch than normal. Which is quite an achievement let me tell you. What's wrong whiny boy?"

"Like I'd tell you."

"Ooooh so there is something wrong then?"

"I'd say that much was obvious detective twatbucket."

"Not detective! Captain! Argh! A-hoy there matey! Shiver-me-timbers!" He'd brought the kaleidoscope up to his eye and was pretending to look through it.

"Walk the fucking plank." He walked into the back room growling as the Kaleidoscope missed his head by inches, instead it bounced off the door, which was promptly slammed shut.


The truth was he was pissed off more than usual. And usually, he was pissed off a lot.

Everything was getting on top of him, he was stuck in a dead end job with a co-worker who had a dead rat for a brain. Nathan just got under his skin so damned much. He was so fucking annoying - something about him just grated Matt down. He thought he knew everything. He was lazy and frustrating and seemed to take great pleasure in pissing Matt off. Besides that, he was unbelievably big headed. Alright, so he was fucking gorgeous but so what? There were loads of people that looked like him out there – dark blue, dusky coloured eyes with a treacle brown mop of hair and a great body…those people that looked like him were probably models. Grrr.

Okay so maybe Matt was jealous of him…slightly…but to be fair, who wouldn't be?

Oh, and another point…

As if this job wasn't bad enough, he had to take another. Because his rent had gone up. Fucking wonderful. It was piece of joyous information that had lead him to his bosses office asking for time off with only two days notice…

"Friday? You know that it is Wednesday today, yes?"

"Yes I do, I'm sorry but I really need the time off If it's possible, I know it's late notice but I've only just been informed myself."

"That's fine, it's only one day and you're extremely reliable anyway."

"Thank you…there's urm, something else too…" His boss rose his eyebrows and urged him to continue. Mr Guyatt looked just like his son, only Matt didn't want to punch his face in. Mr Guyatt had never been anything but a fair boss, unlike his bloody son who was a shit co-worker. "I need a reference…the time off, it's for a job interview."

"Ah. You realise that you're required to hand your notice in three weeks in advance don't you?"

Matt looked panicked, "no I don't intend to leave here!"

"But you work here full time, more hours than that sometimes."

"My rent just went up. I need this other job." He looked down, embarrassed.

"That's a lot to juggle…"

"It will be fine. It's just a small job, three nights a week."

His boss didn't look convinced. "I will get the reference to you by tomorrow afternoon, don't worry I'll make sure its outstanding."

"Thank you sir." He got up to leave and as he entered the main shop area he was met with a very unsubtle blonde headed moron who sucked at pretending he hadn't just eavesdropped on every single word Matt had just said to the nosey idiots father. "What?" he snapped, daring the other to say something. Surprisingly though, he just shrugged and got back to work.


"They've gone now, put your tongue away and wipe the drool from the counter." Nathan was gesturing after the young couple who just came in, a trashy blonde and her boyfriend – because with the way they were acting they weren't brother and sister at any rate.

"What the fucks that supposed to mean?" Matt took his jacket off in the pretence that his red cheeks were down to heat alone.

"You were so checking her out!"

"I was not!"

"That's disgusting, I mean she was what, twelve?"

"Clearly she wasn't. Plus, her boyfriend was twenty-one you retard!"

"How'd you know?"

"Checked his ID."

"Well at least she's in your age range then" he smirked.

"For fucks sake I didn't like her!"



"Did, did, did!"

"Didn't! Moron, moron, moron!"

"I love how stressed you're getting. You loooooved her…"

"It wasn't even her I was looking at!"

Nathan stopped laughing for only seconds before almost crying with glee this time, Matt stopped breathing and the very dude they were talking about who had apparently entered the shop again whilst they had been arguing promptly turned round and left.

Matt didn't think he had been more embarrassed in his entire life.

Nathan sunk to the floor and crouched holding his stomach, finally calming down enough to look up at Matt whom he was surprised to see looking very uncomfortable. He hadn't seen him looking so lacking of confidence before, he was always sure of himself…but not in a cocky way. Right now though he'd lost all of his composure and was looking horrified at himself and also kind of worried. Nathan almost felt bad for him. But not bad enough to disclose the piece of information that said he'd been there before as well a couple of times. Well okay, a few. Call him a slut if you wanted too, he didn't really care – sex was sex in his opinion.

"So…are you fully gay or just half fairy?"

"I knew you'd be homophobic." On that note he didn't give the other any time to defend himself or to ask another stupid question, he just kicked him in the shin and left.



"What?" he snapped in return. It was Thursday afternoon and they had just locked up for the day, a few bits of faffing around and they would be done, and Matt could go home where he still had to get his clobber ready for his interview tomorrow and make dinner. Only someone didn't want things to go that easy and was still trying to make his day hell.

"Where did you put the box full of pens? We've ran out!"

"In the fucking store cupboard."

"They're not."

"Yes they are. I've seen them this week. I'll get them." He walked up to the entrance of the huge store cupboard in the back where Nathan was stood on a chair trying to reach the back of the very top shelf. Matt walked into the cupboard and the backtracked a few steps pausing where his backpack was being used to keep the door propped open, he snatched it up entered the cupboard again promptly pushing the box of pens into Nathan's chest and turning round to leave again.

"Where are you going?" he turned round to see Nathan glaring at him, box of pens held limply in his hands.


"Try it."

"I will thanks…" weirdo… "the doors locked! Fuck!"

"Well done bright spark! Why do you think I propped it open!"

"Well if someone had told me you can't unlock it from the inside I never would have shut the door! What if I'd have been here by myself! What if there's a fire? Shit!"

"Chill out for hells sake! The shops locked up, everything's fine. I'll ring dad and he'll swing by and let us out."

"Won't he be pissed?"

"It's his fault for being too fucking tight to pay and get the lock replaced." He rang, and smugly informed Matt they'd be out within ten minutes. Nathan sat down and glanced at Matt who was glaring at the door and trying to will it open.

"So. Nervous about you interview tomorrow?"

"Yes. Stop trying to make it worse."

"I was only asking!"

"Since when do you even care?"

"I'm just curious is all."

"Well I answered you so there's no need to be curious anymore. Dumbass."

"You only said that because right now, you're feeling very small inside…"

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"You're feeling sorry for yourself and taking it out on me."

"So fucking what if I am." Matt shrugged and sat down on the floor rummaging in his bag before pulling out a packet of sweets.

"Rolos?!" Nathan snorted, "What are you, eight?"

"Fuck off, you're not having one then!"

"Good I don't want one."

"You are so immature."

"Well you're gay!"

"Congratulations on finding the worlds thinnest argument."

"This is all your fault!"

"We've been over this! I didn't know the door's retarded, and I wouldn't have moved the bag at all if you'd have used your own – why didn't you anyway?"

"Floor's dusty," he smirked and Matt growled.

"I'd throw my Rolos at you but I like them too much."

Nathan ignored him and pulled out the kaleidoscope again, apparently unable to cope with silence he was looking through the damned thing constantly and commenting, oh, about…every four seconds.

"It's all iridescent and shiny!"

"Oooh someone's been using a thesaurus."

"Your words hurt."

"So does your face." At that moment the door opened and a slightly amused Mr Guyatt peered in.

"It seems you were right Nathan, I should get this fixed."

"Thank you." Matt grabbed his belongings and started to get ready to leave before he was called back.


"Yes sir?"

"That reference you is nearly done, are you in tonight?"


"Good, I'll have Nathan swing by and drop it you off."

"You'll what?!" Nathan yelped expressing the horror that Matt was feeling.

"Yes. I will. Good luck Matt."

"Thank you sir." He turned on his heel and left, thinking about how that meant he should actually tidy the front room of his apartment. Shit.


It was about half nine at night and Matt was starting to worry that idiot boy wasn't going to turn up at all, but when he heard someone knocking on his door about ten times, he knew it was him. He set the iron down on the counter and turned it off, looking at his shirt that was now half ironed. Trust him to turn up when he was doing something.

He opened the door and found Nathan leaning casually on the doorframe and before he could even say a word, Nathan began to read… "Matthew is a very hard working and valuable employee –"

"Give that here fuck face," Matt snatched his reference away.

"So can I come in?"


"Okay thanks," he pushed his way in and onto couch, looking around critically. "You know, this place is kind of a hole." And that comment was after he'd tidied…

"At what point in my shop assistant career and university debt did you believe me to be fucking rich?"

Nathan snorted. "Good point."

"Thanks for bringing that over. Bye."


"Move. I have things to do."

"Things that wont involve having any fun I'll bet."

"Fuck you. I have fun."

Nathan pointed to the ironing. "Whoopa."

In spite of himself Matt flushed slightly. "Well what do you do for fun?"

"Other people."

"Like anyone would want you."

"And are you fighting off offers left right and centre?"

"No but I never said I was."


"Just fuck off!"

"You really need to loosen up a bit." Nathan walked right behind Matt and gripped his shoulders, "so tense" he whispered teasingly. "You know, sometimes, I can be gay too…" his hand made its way down to cup Matt's arse and Matt turned around, quite ready to put his own hand somewhere that would be much less appreciated by the other but before he could move an inch further, the blonde's lips were attached to his own.

Which, if Matt was being honest. Wasn't all that bad.

"Your breath stinks," Matt pulled away.

"You're a shit kisser," Nathan leaned in for more. Matt pushed Nathan back into the wall and laughed when the others head hit the hard surface. "You know, for someone who's normally such a pushover you're surprisingly dominant…"

"I hate you!"

"I hate you too! You're fucking insufferable!"

"You're full of yourself!"

"You need to let go and have some fucking fun!"

"You need plastic surgery you ugly twat!"

"I need a blindfold so I don't have to look at you!"

Each insult was separated form the next by a series of kisses, which eventually went on for longer and longer, until using their mouths for arguing became the last thing on each other's minds.


Thanks for reading! Any comments are appreciated!