How it flew by so quickly. I miss you.
Sometimes I'll still lay in bed and gaze at my phone, waiting for the backlight to come on, waiting for the familiar vibration signaling your presence.
I stop, eyes shut. I need to forget you. I need to forget myself. Grasping my iPod even tighter, I steadily increase the volume until I reach the limit of its range. Sharp, deep shards dig into my head. My ears feel like splitting and it's still not loud enough to erase your words.
I love you.
Why is the volume so limited?
From now on until forever I will straighten my back and only look at those who will bring me happiness.
I won't fall so simply for any boy who happens to talk to me.
Who happens to say I love you even as they pull the dagger out of my back.
I will become stronger.
For that woman I will have to face in the mirror in my future, and for the little girl who had her heart broken needlessly.
In a fight of who is the best, I'll let you win. That startled look of pain in your eyes is something I'm willing to replace with my pride.
In a fight of who is right, I'll stumble and fall. But I'll quickly pick myself up to see that victorious smile upon your face as you are showered with affection.
In the battle of that game called love, I'll risk my heart so you won't have to bother. I'll bottle up your words of love and dream of a day when you will become mine.
In the battle of who gets your heart, I'll stand in the loser's circle. The tears that are falling are of happiness, I assure you.
In the middle of the night, it is I who hears your darkest thoughts. I'll shine my light on them to help you realize that it's not so lonely anymore.
In the middle of the night, as I struggle to keep my eyes open, I'll stay on the line to hear your breath. You're here with me now because you love me, right?
So silly, oh why do I continue to give you what you already have?
So silly, there's barely anything left and yet you ask for so much more.
I wish you could open your eyes and see me. Really see me. Perhaps then you'll finally run away in disgust, instead of skulking about in the shadows of my voice.
You know I would kill to have someone love me. You knew I loved you so much, you wouldn't have dreamt of anything else but happiness.
So why am I being put aside? Why are you overlooking me as I am in front of you, staring into your glazed eyes? Why? Why?
You've always been so popular. I've just always hid in your shadow. Grasping at the meager strips left in your wake.
Their broken hearts still call for you, did you know?
Even as I house them in my heart, they'll only beat to your tune.
They won't heal anymore, they want your scars. They feel it will sadden you and make you want them back.
But you won't. I know you won't. You know you won't. So tell them, please.
Don't give them any more false hope.
I promise I won't pick up any more of your pieces, I promise. Just heal their broken hearts so I can begin mending mine.
It melts my heart. Just hearing your chuckle on the line. I don't know if I love you anymore, or if I'm simply using your familiarity to call it "love."
My heart doesn't skip a beat every time I hear your voice anymore; does that mean it isn't love?
My inability to hang up on you, to want to talk to you until you say goodbye, is that love?
My want to see your smile in real life, my ability to already feel the butterflies since I haven't seen you in a while, is that love?
The urge to silence you when you talk about the other girls, but the nature to encourage this conversation so I can be your "friend", is that unrequited love?
I don't know anymore… I really don't know.
I, love you. I think.
Let's say… that we were together. That all this heartache I went through was worth it. That you were worth all this waiting.
Let's say… that I was perfect enough for you. That I could make you laugh, and you I. That we were meant to be together.
Let's say… that I'm just a hopeless romantic. That I'll wait for you until I turn wrinkled and old. That you'll never love me back.
Until then, let's just say… that my note never got to you. And our love never began. And what I'm missing is a century filled with heartache and betrayal.
A/N: Which one did you identify with? Hated everything? Why?