i was looking at my old work today,
the blogs, the poems, from when i was
with you, and i couldn't believe what i wrote.
it's not that i thought myself foolish for loving you,
i can forgive myself for that mistake,
it's that i changed for you, blamed myself
for your flaws just to keep us together,
claimed the silence was my fault, took the fall
for the lack of trust between us when it wasn't me
who was saying stupid things, i never said that
i never loved you, that i wouldn't bleed
if you walked away from me, that you should
push your boundaries just a little bit further
for my own physical gratification, no,
but i let myself think that. and i cried, i cried
when it was over? well, now, i believe
that we have to mess up to realise just
how strong we are, how beautiful we are,
and, through all the pain you blessed me with,
i can kick you in the balls with no regret.