My Head Is A Scary Place
My head is a scary place.
A place where everyone loves or hates me.
A place where I have conversations with people that aren't in the same room, or imagine things that did or didn't happen.
A place where I can go when I get scared or overwhelmed.
I go there to escape pain, anguish, stress, loneliness, and depression.
My head is complicated.
I often imagine good and bad things; kissing a guy, passing a hard test, or killing myself, harming myself, or worse, loved ones dying.
Sometimes, I feel like I can't escape once I go inside my head.
I keep thinking about things that have or haven't happened.
I change things around in my head: "push it to the left or right, or forget it completely".
Sometimes, I imagine things that did or didn't happen, dancing perfectly on Pointe, finding Mr. Right and marrying him, or even holding my first child.
My head is not peaceful: I often fight with myself in my head:
"Do it!" -
"Don't do it!" -
"leave it alone stop thinking about it" -
"keep thinking about it" -
"He loves you and wants to marry you!" -
"He hates you, he doesn't love you and never will. Leave him alone…"
My head is not peaceful.
It scares me at times.
It keeps taunting and calling my name.
It won't shut up! I'm tired of living in my head.
It's a scary place to be….