Sorry it took so long for me to update :sweatdrop: I've been busy with friends and family and just generally enjoying life XD Plus, I've been writing a lot of fanfiction. Forgive me?
I love writing drunk!Yuki. It's pretty amusing to me. This chapter involves one of the scenes I've been wanting to write for ages. It was a lot of fun to finally write it out. I hope you enjoy it. I'll try to update sooner for chapter 11!
Thanks for the reviews, guys!
There was a sense of almost painful beauty to the night, not too cold but still cool to the point where we stayed bundled in our jackets, chatting idly over our food until there was nothing left but wine. Slowly, the evening dwindled on in the form of conversation and silence, alternating with each other like the design in a patchwork quilt.
"It's been such a long time since I've been on a date…" I muttered. Under the warm blanket of the wine's influence, words slipped out much easier than they usually did, and I found myself getting carried away, giddy and stupid as I rode the tide of my tipsiness up into the clouds. "I mean… just ages."
"I think you're getting drunk, Yuki-san. Maybe you've had enough wine?"
"I'll know when I've had enough wine," I told him, but my words were slurred. I tried to cover it up by faking a sneeze, and Suzushima looked like he wanted to laugh. His face was slightly flushed and I could tell that he was slightly drunk himself. Something about it was so adorable that I had to grab the front of his shirt to steady myself. "You're so cute…" I heard myself muttering, my inhibitions gone. I was drunker than I'd first thought, and I giggled slightly as I watched his face grow a bit redder, not ready to dodge my comments when he was impaired.
"How long has it been, exactly?" Suzushima asked, trying to change the subject. I looked him straight in the eye and shrugged. He was actually quite vulnerable when he was drunk, and it didn't embarrass me as much to tell him the truth about things. Stretching leisurely, I leaned back on my palms and surveyed the spectacular night sky.
"Well, I haven't dated since Koto and I broke up, so I'd say about five months," I muttered, wondering why in the world I was telling him this, even though he had asked. "Oh… Koto is my ex boyfriend, by the way. His real name is Mokoto, but I call him Koto. Not for any real reason, though. And…" I stopped rambling and slowly closed my mouth, realizing it was about time to shut up. Slowly, a bit of my rationality returned and I sighed, setting down my wine glass, though I had just picked it up. "I really am drunk…" I mumbled as I ran a hand across my face.
"Maybe you should lie down for a while?" Suzushima asked, raising an eyebrow. I scowled at him and shook my head, almost offended that he thought I was too drunk to continue sitting up.
"I'm fine," I argued, though I swayed a bit. I was smiling far more than I usually did, even around him, and I cursed myself for letting my guard down and consuming more wine than my low tolerance allowed. I hated being seen like this, and part of me wanted to crawl away, while the rest of me wanted nothing more than to stay by his side and never leave. "It'll pass."
"Are you sure?" he looked irritatingly amused, and for a moment I contemplated striking him.
"Yes, I'm sure!" I snapped at him and warily took another sip of my wine. I hated the fact that he was capable of making me feel so vulnerable and stupid despite the fact that he barely knew me at all. He had the ability to worm his way into my consciousness and my thoughts in a way no one ever had before. It was irritating and comforting all at once. It was odd for me to think that just a few days ago I had been planning suicide, and now all I wanted to do was learn more about this man who I probably should still see as a stranger. All I wanted was to talk to him about everything and never, ever let him go.
"Are you alright, Yuki-san?" that infuriatingly charming man asked me, cocking his head slightly so that a lock of blonde hair slipped in front of his eye in a way that was just so startlingly debonair I still couldn't stop staring at him, though now it was becoming a problem. "You're staring."
"I'm not…" but I was. I was staring and there was nothing I could do to stop it. Every time I looked at him he was more appealing, and I was starting to wonder when exactly I had started-- dare I say it?-- to yearn for his company the way a drowning man yearns for air. Everything was happening far too fast, and those eyes were watching me as if they might wonder what I would do.
"You look shaken, Yuki-san?" Suzushima leaned in a little closer and I trembled slightly. When had it started making me feel so strange to be close to him? "You're blushing, and you look like you want to run away. Could it be that you like me, too?"
"Oh course not…" I muttered, but my voice was filled with far less conviction than it would have normally been, and I couldn't stop staring up at those stunning eyes. He cast a spell on me in a way no man ever had before. It was strange the way it felt as though the bottom of my stomach had dropped out and the way that I couldn't control my racing thoughts as he leaned in, brushing my nose with his.
"Yuki-san…" a strand of his hair tickled my forehead and his breath brushed my lips, smelling of wine and an inherent freshness somewhere underneath. His voice was laden with something I didn't want to recognize, and as I felt his gentle hand slip up the back of my neck I was aware of my heart beginning to pound. I shouldn't be reacting this way…
"Yes?" I asked him, my voice trembling. My guard was down, and I could tell he sensed it, the way a lion could sense the weakness in a straggling wildebeest. His eyes were half-lidded, a kind of dark sensuality radiating from him. I swallowed. For a moment we were frozen in time, and I could almost hear his heartbeat in the silence that reigned supreme over us. He closed his eyes and for that second he looked so serene that I could not stop watching him.
Suzushima was so close that he was blurry, his nose still brushing mine lightly. I could tell what was coming, and I didn't know whether I should be allowing it to happen. Was this really wise, giving in completely to my emotions this way? I didn't really want to know the answer to that question. Because at the moment I was too far gone to really care. This felt good, and this felt right. He was warm and he was close, and there was nothing I could do to brush him away.
"You're beautiful…" the heaviness of his voice made me realize that the implications of this moment were far heavier than normal. This was not simply a moment in time; this was something that could impact everything. I was drunk and dizzy, but even in the face of these obstacles the warmth of his breath on my lips made me want to faint, and the simple heaviness of his warm presence made me sure that this was something far different from anything I had experienced in the past. I had been this close to other men, had been this close to being kissed before, and yet I had never experienced the sensation that fireworks were going off in my chest before. It wasn't like me to swoon, to get so carried away by the heaviness of emotion, but here it was, happening. This was new, and my heart hammered with anticipation.
When his warm lips finally pressed against mine, I was sure. Everything that had been chasing logic around in my head was reality. My heart thundered, my eyelids fluttered, and my hands came up to cup his cheeks as he kissed me. It was with a sense of desperation that he clung to me, and as his lips began to move, I followed with him. Something about this kiss was unbelievably natural, as though we had been doing this our entire lives. His lips parted slightly, and the slight wetness that brushed my mouth made me shudder as I followed suit, opening my lips and gasping slightly, shocked, as he teased my mouth open wider.
Suzushima kissed me in a way that suggested he had wanted to for a long time, far longer than we had known each other. Suzushima kissed me as though it was all he had ever wanted to do. Suzushima kissed me in a way that made me swear he was madly, passionately in love, though I knew it couldn't possibly be the case. Breathing was difficult with my heart racing like this, with his delicate tongue brushing my lower lip and slipping tentatively inside my mouth. It was even harder when we slipped backward, Suzushima guiding my body gently onto the blanket and continuing to kiss me.
With him on top of me, I my body was shielded from the wind and the evening chill and the world. It was an utterly safe feeling. I had never been in such a position without feeling violated, without any worry that I was in danger of being taken advantage of. Suzushima was different from the rest of the world, from the people I needed to fear. He was as utterly gentle and reassuring as he was maddeningly passionate, and he seemed content with simply kissing me, with using his tongue to steal my breath away.
My body trembling beneath him, he explored my mouth with his, his arms wrapped gently around me and his fingers laced tenderly in my hair. As much as I hated to admit it, I never wanted this moment to stop, not when the increasingly fervent kisses threatened to make my heart explode, not when he moaned in a dangerously sexy way as my hands found their way up under his shirt and raked across his back, and not even when he slowly pulled my hands away from his bare skin and helped me sit up, softly muttering "We need to stop."
"Why do we need to stop?" I was breathless as he smiled and slowly smoothed down my disheveled hair, using his gentle fingers to brush away the messiness.
"Because we don't know each other well enough yet to keep going," he answered, looking both regretful and amused. "And I don't want to complicate things between us by doing something we're not ready for."
"Oh…" I blushed slightly. We didn't know each other well enough yet. Did that mean… that he wanted to have sex with me? "Okay…" The implications were actually as pleasing as they were embarrassing, and I carried a small smile with me as he cleaned up the picnic and escorted me back to my apartment.
"I had a lovely time with you," Suzushima declared as we reached my door, and the slightly blush that lit his cheeks made me smile. For once, I felt that I was the more collected one.
"Same to you. And… thanks, Suzushima-san," I said, opening the door. "I'll see you soon?"
"Of course," still blushing slightly, though more composed now, he bent to kiss my cheek with all the tenderness of a cat tending to its kitten. "As soon as possible. Thank you for a lovely evening."
Smiling far warmer than I had in months, I stood on my tiptoes and tentatively placed a quick kiss on the corner of his mouth. "Goodnight, Suzushima-san." he left me alone in my apartment with a warm sense of contentment and a smile on my face. As I moved into the living room, yawning, I caught sight of a single bright yellow daffodil on the table beside the sofa. There was a square of paper beside it, decorated with Suzushima's neat writing. The message made my heart give a slight jolt in my chest.
Thank you so much for being you.
I'll try to update sooner this time 8D