Murder & Suicide:

Committed With Love

We had come out to the forest clearing to the north of the house so I could stand him up out of his wheelchair & let him fall until he could stand on his own for at least 30 seconds straight. Doodle insisted that we only do this "exercise" two or three times a week, to keep it a secret from our parents until he could show them that he could walk.

He has been sick & his strength has been fading due to a minor cold, but I insisted that he practice walking. School started in less than a month & I was bound-set that Doodle walk to school with me this year.

When he fell for the twelfth time, I was irate & I was letting my temper get the best of me. It had started to rain about two minuets ago, but I refused to take Doodle back to the house until he stood at least once today.

"I'm sorry, brother!" Doodle's raspy voice called as he fell for the thirteenth time. That was it, I finally saw that my plan was useless, & that no matter how hard I pushed him, Doodle just would never be the little brother, and the playmate I had expectations for. As he stood up, mud running off of him in the rain I lost my self-control.

I could not believe that I had just punched my little brother, Doodle. I was just fed-up with how weak he was, & how much I wanted him to be able to walk. I had my own selfish reasons, such as embarrassment, as to why I wanted him to be able to walk.

Doodle whimpered when my fist made contact with his nose, then he went limp & an unhealthy amount of blood came pouring out of his nose. At first, I thought that he had fainted from shock, but I stepped closer & saw that he was bleeding from more than his nose, his jaw dropped & blood started oozing out. That's when I realized that he wasn't alive any more. I hugged his small, lifeless body sinking to my knees & sobbing uncontrollably.

As I kneeled there mourning & covering Doodle's body from the rain, the weight of my actions crashed down upon me like a hammer on an anvil. I began to panic, thinking of the punishments I would face. With a strength I did not feel, I lifted Doodle's body and began to drag it. I found a spot under the bleeding tree, and began to dig with the shovel the hired help had used earlier on the construction of the new well. When the hole was deep enough to cover his body, I picked up his limp, lifeless shell, and put him in it. I said a prayer over his death, and then I decided to run-away. I figured that I could no longer live in my own house, so I planned to grab a few essentials from the house and hide in the forest. I thought I could make a small hut and live in it until I found a place to runaway to.

I knew that mother & father were going to be in the house so I had decided I had no choice but to eliminate them. I cringed a bit at the thought, but I didn't want anybody coming after me and finding out the truth. I grabbed the shovel the workers had used on the new well. I thought this ironic that Doodle and our parents would be buried by it also. I found the gun and long rope hid in the shack by the cotton field. Then I headed towards the back of the house. My heart was racing, and my stomach yelled at me that it would lose my lunch, but I continued.

I walked into the house silently, as quiet as a mouse. I was a predator stalking my prey. I found my father in the study, paying some bills. He hadn't heard me come in. I pulled out the gun it felt ice cold, and smelled strongly of gunpowder. As I pulled the trigger, time seemed to stop. It was finally all the way back, a loud "bang" and a cloud of gunpowder erupted from the gun's barrel. My hands shaking, I dropped the gun out the window, and then walked to my mother's sitting room. I seemed as calm as a clam, but on the inside I was a wreck. I found her asleep in her reading chair. I pulled out the shovel and hit her in the head with it. I winced as a sickening "crack" emitted from her skull. I stood and watched as a pool of blood slowly seeped from the large fracture in her head. Then I couldn't bear to live with what I did. I decided to unite us all as a family again. I grabbed a stool, tied the rope around my neck, and I hung my self. I would finally be with Doodle again, my precious little brother.