4

Volkmar

I hopped out of the car to greet the brisk, fall, Connecticut air. I silently groaned, I had left my purse in the car. It was always a pain to climb back into my dark red H3 in heels and skinny jeans. I grabbed my purse and student I.D. that bore the phrase "Megan Ross, Valley Ridge, Senior". I looked in the make up mirror just to check. I looked perfect; my mid-length blonde hair fell past my big, brown eyes and full, pink lips. Slightly dazzled by my own reflection I looked across the parking lot. I could see Tanya Shirley walking to school by herself. I turned, silently laughing at her pathetic attempt at wearing a skirt with her thighs.

"How could any girl, no matter how trollish she really was, be so oblivious to fashion?" I questioned myself.

I yelled across the parking lot " Hey! Tanya! Next time you go shoe shopping, why don't you try looking in the women's section of Goodwill?"

Her response was a lift of her pudgy face, her slightly piggish eyes looking through her greasy, unkempt, groundhog brown hair. With her usual comeback of

"Ohuh?"

Laughing, I started walking into the school. I stalked past smelling her three dollar Wal- Mart body spray. It was pineapple, lime, and coconut. The horrid spray was sickly sweet and much too strong. I held my breath all the way into the building.

It took me forever to get to the gym locker room from the parking lot. When I finally made it to the damp, musty, room I met up with my best friends Nikky and Charie. Charie was my best friend and had been for as long as I could remember. She was a shortie at only four foot nine. She had middle length, thick, dark hair. Her eyes were definetly her best feature, they were large, green and seemed to stare into your soul. Nikky was a different kind of pretty, however. She had dark skin and brown eyes. Her thin black locks were so curly they were almost frizzy. The look suited her. I started to tell them about Tanya in the parking lot when she walked in.

"Oh my gosh", Charie questioned, "Was she sprayed by a skunk?"

I replied "No I think that's her perfume."

"It smells like she took a bath in it." Stated Nikky.

We all laughed at our jokes, and remembered some of the pranks we had pulled on her in the past. For example, last spring I told everyone she had shaved her head, and then Nikky filled her locker with fake hair and a note that read, "In case you run out."

Or like the time I stole her glasses out of her gym locker. I made it look like she dropped them and Charie stepped on them. She had actually cried that time.

We were playing volleyball in P.E. that day. I absolutely loved it when I was on a team with Charie, Nikky, and Tanya. Our Trio made it a priority to peg Tanya in the back of the head every time. There was just something amusing about watching her stumble to get herself up.

As we changed back into our clothes the entire class snickered at Tanya's pasty skin and cubby physique. It was only a while before she bent over and ripped a seam in her skirt. At that point I lost all of my control and burst out laughing as hard as I could. She turned to see me, with her deer in the headlights look. Her face flushed bright red and she jogged out of the room.

I didn't give her much thought until after school. I was in the Hummer with Nikky and Charie. We were singing our favorite song, No Air by Jordin Sparks. Singing along to that song was one of our favorite things to do. We were waiting at the red light that led out of Valleyridge High. When we saw Tanya walking home we thought nothing of it. She tripped, projecting her books everywhere. We laughed at that, I feel sick about it now. Through our laughing there was a piercing screech. The brakes on Tommy Hudson's van had gone out. He was heading directly for her. She seemed to be frozen, I willed her to move, but no matter how hard I thought she just stayed there. I bit my tongue and looked on tasting the rust and salt flavor that was blood. I looked for what seemed like hours at the horrible, bloody, wreckage. Suddenly someone honked, alerting me that the light was now green.

I drove the rest of the way to Nikky's house and dropped her and Charie off. I went home and ran to my room. I didn't understand why but I felt… guilty? It hadn't been my fault. I had never really liked her but she definitely didn't deserve to die. Why did I feel so strongly about something out of my control? I pondered this for a while when I it hit me like the first snowball of winter. It was shocking and left me feeling cold and uncomfortable. The pranks and mean comments hadn't been funny. They had been cruel and childish. The same things I had found so hilarious just earlier that day. I now saw were stupid and mean. I cried about how I could have been so heartless.

I watched the news that night and found out the whole story. Tommy's breaks were shot, and he was on his way home. Tanya had died on the spot. Just by watching the news I learned things I never would have known about her. We had both loved the colors yellow and purple. Her favorite song was Disturbia by Rhianna, same as me. That isn't where the similarities ended either. I realized as I watched this, how many things we had in common. We could have been friends, if I had bothered to give her a chance. It made me realize the truth about beauty. Sometimes you have to search for it. Hers had been her inner beauty.

I still feel responsible for Tanya's death, but I have tried to make up for it. I bring her grave flowers. I know, though, she would have forgiven me. That's just the kind of person she was.