AN/ I was very angry with my cat one night and started yelling about all of the ways that I was going to kill him.

Throw it out a two story window

Stick its tail in a electracol socket

Run It over with a vacume cleaner

throw it down the steps

slam it between two doors

Put it in the microwave

put it in the freezer

flush it down the toilet

put safety goggles on it then put in down the garbage dispolal

Put it in the blender

Make cat coffee

beat it with a coat hanger

staple him to the wall

eat him

cut it up with cookie cutters

hit it with a frying pan

then fry it in it

your cat has suddenly jammed your printer

Cat brownies…nuff said

new winter coat..mmmm soft

Your calculater only says mew now

you now have a cat imprint in your driveway

he's a fluffy towel

The cats claws make one heck of a bacscratcher

Your sister has a new much more fluffy Barbie

just get a pillow case, you've got yourself a brand new pillow

instead of that creepy deer head, you have something more domesticated to put over your fire place.

Which reminds me, hot cats

Put it in the dishwasher

He'll have one heck of a time fighting off the bloodthirsty dust bunnies under the couch.

AN/ my cat pisses me off…