Please don't leave the North pole
I've come to realize you're just a fat asshole.
It doesn't matter if I'm naught or nice
I'm done writing letters and I'm done paying your price
This year I have learned not to look like a fool
Just because you have elf slaves and reindeer doesn't mean you are cool
I'm sick of your shit. This year I hope you are shot
I'm a selfish kid and I never liked the presents I got
They toys were crappy and not what I wished for
You're an old fat pedophile, I'm not giving you my cookies anymore
As a kid I wrote you many letters, but they were never read
I don't know why people like you. Maybe all the eggnog went to their head
You never got me the Malibu Barbie I wanted that year
You're just a fat old man who tells kids what they want to hear
I use to like you, you know, but then I found out you were a horrible friend
Fuck you, Santa, this is the last letter I'll ever send.