The Beauty of a Weeping Heart
Hi! Welcome to my first ever original story on fictionpress! This story is actually on a site called mibba
but I wanted to see how many reviews I get lol. Three chapters into one! Hope you like it!
"What happened to you baby,
I guess we just have to wait and see..."
I nodded my head to the beat of the Guns N' Roses, as I crossed the road. A wind was building up and I brushed the stray bit of my blonde hair impatiently away from my face. I bent my head as I felt the chill of the howling cold, bitter wind whip through the air. The familiar glowing lights of my house grew ever nearer. Closing my eyes, I felt the overwhelming feeling of fear and desperation. I still remembered when it first happened.....
"Go to bed."
I saw him as a menacing figure, towering above me. He was unshaven, glaring at me with intense dislike. I sensed the angry aura radiating from him and I shrank back. Something inside gave me courage.
He knelt down to my level, the poison dripping in every syllable.
"Because your mother is out working and it's past your bedtime. So go to bed."
I couldn't describe the hatred I was feeling towards him. I took a step backwards, hating him all the more. How dare he try and order me around!
"You're not my father! Don't tell me what to do!" I yelled.
I touched my stinging cheek, shocked. I felt my eyes well up with tears at the pain. No one had ever hit me before, Dad had once punched the table in anger so hard that he drew blood. He would never hit me. Ever. Yet I had just been hit. How dare he?
"I'll tell Mum you hit me." I whimpered. "You're mean."
In one swift movement, he picked me up as easily as if I was paper. He laughed and threw me against the wall. I couldn't even scream, the agony was too much. The tears fell and wouldn't stop falling. I could even taste the blood in my mouth. Why did I deserve this?
"If you tell her or anyone else." He growled. "I'll rape you and then I'll god damn kill you. You understand?"
I stared at him, the fear apparent in my eyes. I believed he would do what he said. I nodded slowly.
His features twisted into a sneer. "Good. Now let me tell you something honey. You address me properly from now on. You listen to what I say. I've already got my beautiful daughter. I don't need a "daughter" that's ugly and worthless yeah?"
I flinched at the stench of his breath. I felt as if I was brushing up against Death itself. I sniffled, wiping my nose, trying to ignore the burning pain that I could feel throughout my whole body.
"But Dad says that I'm beautiful..." I began.
He cut me off abruptly with a bitter laugh. "Your Dad doesn't know shit. You're not wanted you never were. No boy will ever look twice at you. You're an ugly whore and that's all you'll ever be Liana."
Liana. He'd said my name and I hated him for it. I hated the fact that my name was coming out of his poisonous lips.
"Now, go to bed."
Somehow, though I could barely move as it was, I managed to stand up and shakily walk out of the room, and run to my bedroom, sobbing on my pillow. Why? I loved my Dad.I really really did. Then anger set in. I knew why he had left. He had loved Mum once, but she had ditched him for cheating with this man.
That's why he had said I'm an ugly whore.
Because I'd grow up just like my mother.
I opened my eyes and felt tears form once more. I was twelve years old when Gary had first hit me. Every day he would hit me, hissing that I was ugly and worthless. Perhaps he was right. Ever since that day, I covered myself up. I started wearing makeup early so I could cover up the bruises that I suffered as a result of his beating. It didn't make any difference at school. As I rarely spoke in class, I was either made fun out of or ignored.
I took out my key and turned it in the lock. Click.
Come on now, lets get this over with....
24 hours later. A sunny Saturday morning. So you think I would be having a lie in, never getting up before one right? Far from it. When I was thirteen,Gary had decided for "my own good" that I needed a job. A paper round. Every day, I get up at half six in the freezing cold to go to the local corner shop and deliver papers. I hated it and I hate it even now but it was much better than getting a beating. I couldn't even escape my step father's wrath when I went to bed. I would toss and turn till I eventually fell off to sleep, with him haunting my dreams. He was the one that made my nightmares come to life.
Over the counter, Mrs Patel smiled at me. "Thank you very much Liana. I appreciate it."
I shrugged. "It's no trouble."
Of course it was trouble, it was such a chore. Hey, the Patels work hard and I don't want to hurt their feelings.
Her eyes brightened. "Well here's your money. Take care of yourself."
I nodded, smiling back. I took the money and was on my way out when the door opened, creating a jangling sound. I looked up to see no other than my step sister Cass walk in. She brushed her long brown hair out of her eyes and grinned at me.
"Come over and give your sister a hug."
I sighed and walked over to hug her. Yes, her dad may abuse me but she is the loveliest girl in the world. Sister. Not even step sister. That's how close we are. She lives with her Mum and her twin brothers Sammy and Jez.
"So what's up?" I asked her, after she finally released me. I love her hugs though because she always such soft clothes.
Cass rolled her eyes. "Jez was asking me about puberty. Don't even ask."
I burst out laughing at her comment. Sure, I'm a shy person but once I'm with Cass, my shyness almost completely melts away and I can talk to her about anything.
"The usual Cass?" Ms Patel asked.
"Yup." Cass replied in response. "Fags, crisps, the Observer, latest Vogue and Red Bull. Think that about covers it."
I watched Cass pay at the counter. "Thanks Janki."
I shook my head. I could never be as bold as she was, being on first name terms even if I have known the Patels for years. I gave Ms Patel a little wave as the two of us walked out of the shop. I don't know what I would do without Cass, she is literally my Soulmate. However, there is one thing I would never tell her. Even thinking about it now, I can tell how silly it would sound.
"Hey Cass, your dad abuses me. He hates me and hits me and stuff..."
What the fuck? How do you answer to that?
I would never tell anyone that secret because of the main emotion – Fear. I felt ashamed to admit but it was true. I'm terrified of Gary. I know I'm disgusting, people at school make it pretty clear. Also, where would I go? Sure, they'd lock Gary up but I'm pretty sure my mum would disown me. She's a dirty whore as it is, cheating on my dad like that. I'll never forgive her for hurting my dad.
"Liana?" Cass waved a hand in front of my face. "Don't zone out on me babes."
"Yeah whatever." I sighed. I leaned over to take a cigarette from her packet. I didn't smoke as much as Cass did, it was just every Saturday. From romantic and fantasy books I'd indulged in, I'd heard that some teenage girls cut themselves because they're so depressed. I think that's stupid, I mean if you're depressed and hurting, why would you want to hurt yourself more? I know cigarettes were killers but they helped me unwind and relax, feeling free from my step dad's wrath.
"Fuck, I can't find my lighter." Cass muttered, rummaging around in her bag.
I snatched her bag and dug out her lighter, holding it triumphantly.
"Honestly, what would you do without me Cass?" I grinned.
She stuck her tongue out me and grabbing the lighter out of my hand and lit her cigarette. She sighed a sigh of relief and pleasure.
I tutted as I took the cigarette lighter from and her and lit my own cigarette. She smiled over at me.
"Oi let me see your phone."
I froze, my heart almost stopping in my chest. "What did you just say?" praying that she hadn't asked what I thought she just asked.
"Oh just give it here." Cass said impatiently.
Before I could utter a single word, she snatched my phone out of my pocket and switched it on. Without further ado, I attempted to grab it out of her hand but Cass was too quick, and held it out of my reach.
"Give it back!" I yelled.
Cass ignored me. "Ooo Sony Ericsson. You've got like 200 texts here and you say you're not popular."
I gave up trying to get my phone back, knowing she would find it sooner or later. "I'm not." I warned her.
Cass squealed. "Oh my gosh Kayla texted you! I need to read this...."
I sighed, closing my eyes waiting for the inevitable.
"Hey bitch you know that your well butterz and you'll never get a boyfriend so don't play hard to get." Cass read aloud. She stopped and stared at me. "What...?"
I had enough. "I'll have it back now thank you." I snapped. This time,she let me take my phone out of my grasp.
Cass put her hands on her hips. "Liana, Kayla's like my best mate and I've got to tell her..."
"You're not going to tell her anything." I interrupted, the tears welling up inside my eyes. "What do you think it's like? People find my number and text me abuse. Not only Kayla but Jamie, Rowen, Damien and all the rest of the people who hate me."
Cass went silent for a moment, obviously thinking it through. "Why don't you hang out with me then? Then they'll see what you're really like -"
"NO!" I yelled."I DON'T WANT ANY OF YOUR PITY CASS!"
You could have heard a pin drop. The silence was awful, a dark black heavy cloud of silence that seemed to stretch on forever. The birds stopped chirping, the leaves stopped rustling, everything went quiet.
"I'm sorry." Cass said quietly. "I didn't mean to be like this."
I sighed. "Lets just go alright?"
Cass nodded. As we were walking off, I looked through the texts feeling hatred bubble inside of me. I scrolled through the texts and there were names I could put to most of them. However, there was one that caught my eye, it was by Unknown Sender. Curiously, I clicked on it. I felt my heart pound as I read the message inside.
Dear Liana, you're beautiful
I shrank back as he loomed over me. With effortless ease, he lifted me in the air and threw me onto the bed. I lay there sobbing in my underwear, knowing that it was too late. I had crossed him too many times, so I was to be punished. I could feel my whole body aching, I wanted to scream but I just lay there, frozen to the spot.
He shook his head sneering at me. "You shouldn't have told anyone Liana. Now you're going to pay."
As he advanced towards me, I finally found my voice and yelled.
I woke up in a sweat, breathing hard as if I'd just run a race. I sat there for a moment before running my fingers through my hair. It had seemed so real. Not for the first time, I felt desperately alone. I just wanted to tell someone but I couldn't, I'd get hurt so badly. Knowing I couldn't do anything about it now, I sighed, knowing I couldn't do anything about it now. I looked at the clock and I realised it was time to get up. Since it was quite a warm day today, decided to wear a pair of skinnies, a slightly low cut black top and my jacket. I spent quite a while slapping moisturer onto my skin so that the bruises would fade away.
I just wished that the bruises would fade away from my mind....
I took a look at my reflection in the mirror and could think of only one word to describe it – Ugly. That's what I was, an ugly bitch who would never get a boyfriend. I brushed my hair and wore some green eyeliner to make me look at least remotely presentable.
"Liana! Get your ass down here!" Gary yelled.
He wouldn't dare say that if my mum had been at home but she had already left for work on an early shift. Sighing to myself, I joined my step father who was leaning against a wall. He leered at me looking me up and down.
He nodded satisfyingly. "Good. Make sure you grab a fruit before you go, bitch."
Silently, I grabbed a banana and began to eat it., and although I wanted nothing more to yell at him, I held my tongue. Once I'd finished eating it, I calmly threw the banana skin in the bin and nearly walked out of the door before he stopped me in my tracks.
"Just remember." He said softly. "I own you girl."
"Yes sir." I uttered tonelessly.
A mingled look of shock and fear came into my eyes but I controlled it. He always hurt me when I least expected me or even when I did. He roared in laughter at my expression.
"Now go to school." He commanded me.
This time, I walked out of the door, feeling a bubble of anger inside my stomach. I hated him so much, I couldn't wait till I was 18 so I could leave home. Leaving home at 16 wasn't an option for me. As long as I was in full time education, I had to stay at home. It wasn't as if I was anyone special or beautiful anyway. Waiting at the bus stop, I thought about what that text said. Did someone actually think I was beautiful? I racked my brains trying to think of who would say such a thing. Stuff like this happened to people in romantic novels and yet it was happening to me. I tried not to think of the text, it was making me more confused than ever.
Getting on the bus, I found that pretty much all the seats were taken. Yet as I rocked with the bus, I felt someone's eyes on me. Turning around, I saw Jamie's head resting on Jonny's shoulder. Ever so often, she would kiss his neck but he didn't respond. He kept his eyes locked on me. I felt my cheeks flush and I quickly averted my gaze. Why the hell was he staring at me for? Jamie was what every guy wanted. Gorgeous long brown hair, massive tits, too much makeup and clothes showing off every feature she wanted to reveal. In my mind? The definition of a Whore. The two of them had been going out for 5 months now, which was one hell of a long time. However, Jonny was pretty hot himself.
A mass of floppy dark brown hair, sparkling blue eyes, almost perfect skin...yeah you get the picture. I didn't particularly want to think about him now. Especially since he's got a girlfriend. Yes I know the one taboo of falling for someone – Never fall for someone who's taken. Well if you were in my position you would think differently...
"Cass remind me why I have to dress up again?" I sighed.
"Stop complaining child." Cass giggled. "You look hot babes."
I gave her a questionable look. "I look like a slut."
This time it was Cass' turn to sigh. "You couldn't look like a slut even if you tried."
I grinned. It was Cass' 17th 'Rock On Party and typical Cass wanted me dressed up for it. Dressing up wasn't really my thing as I normally just wore clothes to cover up the marks and bruises that Gary had left me. I was wearing a pink and black skull dress which showed off my legs. My hair was curled and I was wearing black eyeliner and glittery eyeshadow.
However, I was quite excited about this party. I'd had a crush on Jonny for a month now. Normally, I would be guarded against such feelings but hey, it's my first crush. Hopefully he'd be my first kiss as well.
As the guests started arriving, loud music was soon playing and as the alchohol started being steadily consumed, couples were making out like it was no tomorrow. It had at least been an hour now and while I had sipped a few glasses of wine, I was only tipsy. I wondered where Jonny was.
Suddenly I turned around, to see Jonny making his way towards me. He looked gorgeous with his cheeky grin. However, I could tell he was drunk. Boldly I met him half way.
"Jonny...?" I whispered.
Without a second to spare, he quickly grabbed my arm and took me upstairs. He looked deeply into my eyes.
"Do you like me Liana?"
I froze, my heart pounding. Did he know that I liked him? We had only talked a few times but I had no idea if had caught my glances directed towards him. I felt my heart melt at the intensity of his expression.
"Yes." I breathed.
His smile widened and our lips met in a long but savoury kiss. Perfection.
"You're beautiful baby." He whispered as he leant forward to kiss me a second time.
Jolting my thoughts back into the present, I remembered what a daze I had been in. He had called me Beautiful.
That was until he got together with Jamie.
I felt angry at myself, cheated of my first kiss, hated that it was so perfect. Of course he wouldn't like me like that, he had said so. However,ever since then he had ignored me. I was an ugly bitch and that is what I would always be.
I looked up to see Jamie looking at me with disdain. Her features twisted into her familiar sneer.
"Urgh what you're looking at bitch?" She glared at me.
Bitch. That was the name I was so used to being called that I didn't even care any more. I could start a cat fight on the bus but that would be completely pointless. The one girl that you never mess with is Jamie and I had learnt that.
"Nothing." I said quietly.
"Good, I thought so."
Purposely bumping into me as the bus ground to a halt next to the school, she spotted some of her friends, leaving Jonny and I together alone. I desperately tried to stop my feelings returning to Jonny once more. Yes he was gorgeous and lovely but it would not help me one bit. It wasn't like I was [s]important[/s] anyway.
Without thinking but irritated with Jamie, I muttered under my breath. " Stupid Whore."
That remark made Jonny stop in his tracks.
Flashing me his trademark grin and effectively turning my knees to jelly, he whispered in my ear.
With that, he left me utterly dumbstruck.
Um hope you liked that. I won't write another until I've written three more chapters lol.
Please Read and Review!
I like meeting new people XDD