you're still the good-for-nothing i don't know
october lies (december 23rd, 2008, 11:15pm)

"well, when you go, don't ever think i'll make you turn to stay. and maybe when you get back, i'll be off to find another way."
- My Chemical Romance's, "I Don't Love You" (the only MCR song i have ever liked)

"i don't love you–"

twisting words around and shoving insults in my face won't change the way you broke me, snapped me in two, then used my body and soul for your own selfish gain. wrapping your fingers in my hair and pulling hard as if you were reigning me tight, bending me to your will, fucking me into submission. coiling yourself inside of me with fangs for teeth and claws for nails, scratching patterns on my back as if you were carving words, describing me in full, your rag doll with a heart (broken, alone, ugly, fat, unloved, useless, forgotten, needy, dependent, pathetic, worthless, nothing). in my mirror, the invisible words screamed back at me and echoed in my mind and i could feel their meanings coursing through my body, sparking a fire in my belly. at your touch, it screamed in fury, pure anger, though my heart drowned in lovesick misery.

"like i loved you–"

others can say they broke my body, shaped me into their dreams and folded me into a piece of pleasure, but only you can say that you broke my soul, ground it into the dirt, and washed me clean of my independence and personality, losing my love in the very end.


i wish i could say that this didn't come from the heart.
but then i would be lying to not only you, but myself as well.

lyrics&title belong to MCR, "i don't love you"