The room was quite and dark. It was hot and humid. The bed under me seemed to be spinning in unison with my mind. I glanced at the clock. It read 3:39. I groaned and rolled over onto my left side, pulling the sheet over my head at the same time. This is how the nights have been going lately. It's nearly impossible for me to fall asleep; as if I'd I want to. Every time I finally drifted to sleep, thoughts of the old days flowed back to mind and that was more unbearable than the lack of sleep. I squeezed my eyes shut and attempted the age-old restless remedy of counting sheep. After a few seconds, I lost count and huffed irritatedly. I pulled the sheet off of my face and swung my legs over the side of the bed. I shook my hair out, stood up, and walked out of my room. I reached my kitchen and flipped on the small light so I wouldn't wake my parents.

I pulled a glass out of the cabinet, filled it with water, downed half of it, and refilled it to the top again. I flipped off the switch and aimlessly wandered around my big, dark, spacious house. I walked up to the shelves that were filled with picture frames. Pictures of me, Adam (my younger brother), Luke (my older brother), and my mother and father were tucked away in neat, dainty frames. I picked up the picture of Aurora and I. The right side of the picture was jagged and torn. I sighed and touched the frame. The edge was torn because I had ripped someone out of the picture. The person who my left arm had been around was no longer in the picture, figuratively and literally.

The missing person's name was Harlan. He was my boyfriend. I'd known him for eight years of my life. He made me feel like the most amazing girl on the face of the Earth. When he held me, all of the drama and trouble around me melted away, leaving nothing but my love and affection for him. When I'd cry, he would pull me close and whisper into my ear telling me it would all be okay. I loved him so terribly much, and I knew that he loved me too.

I opened the back of the picture frame and pulled the picture out. As I did, something fell out, and fluttered to the ground. I bent down to pick it up, but froze when I saw what it was. I reached out timidly and picked it up with shaking fingers.

It was a picture with a note paper clipped to it. I pulled the note off and stared at the picture. It was a picture of Harlan and I. We were standing on the school's over grown soccer field; I was pressed up to him and his arms were wrapped around my waist and my arms were wrapped around his neck, pulling him closer to me. We were kissing. Tears came to my eyes as the nostalgia of the moment caused me to collapse to the floor.

That day had been one of the greatest of my life. No, it'd been the greatest day of my life.

It was during the summer two years ago. Aurora and Trent, my best friends, had been with us, and we were just hanging out.

"So you wouldn't mind if I stole Naomi for a few minutes, would you?" Harlan asked, sliding his hand around my waist.

They exchanged a quick knowing glance and nodded. "We'll just wait for you guys in the car." Harlan smiled and started pulling me over to the center of the field. When we got up there, I looked up to see a gorgeous starry sky (thanks to the stadium lights being off).

"Amazing." I breathed.

Harlan looked down at me and smiled. I glanced at him. He looked almost like he was sad. "Harlan? Are you okay?"

"Oh, if only you knew." He pulled me closer and collapsed to the ground with me in his arms. He buried his face in my hair and exhaled deeply.

"Is there something wrong?" I asked, rubbing his back.

"That's just it. Everything is perfect, and I can't help but feel like it's too good to be true."

I pulled back and put my face in his hands. "What do you mean by that?" I started to get a little panicky.

He obviously noticed. He always did. He put his hands over mine and pulled them down into his lap. "Harlan, what's wrong?"

"I love you, Naomi."

I smiled, "I know that, but why do you seem so upset?"

"Because there's something I've been meaning to ask you and it's just been eating away at me."

"Well, then ask me."

He looked down some more. I started getting restless. Then, all of a sudden, he looked up directly into my eyes and asked, "Will you marry me?"

I took in a sharp breath, and then forgot how to breathe for a few short moments. When I finally exhaled I stuttered, "H-Harlan, I–we're seventeen."

"After we graduate, of course," he added in, quickly.

"I–I really don't know what to say."

He looked back down and said, "Yeah, I understand."

"No! I don't mean–I didn't mean I don't want to–"

He lifted his gaze to mine again.

"–I just, it was such a sudden question." I cleared my throat. "Harlan, you know I love you and I would love nothing more than to marry you when we get out of school."

The grin on his face sent my heart soaring. I did love him. In fact, I loved him a lot. He kissed me on the forehead and pulled me up off the ground. "Well, now that that's settled." Then he kissed me, with so much passion I swear I almost fainted. That's when we heard Aurora giggling and turned to see her with a camera in hand.

That day was the quintessence of perfection.

Unfortunately, two months later, Harlan was killed by a drunk driver. The driver ran a red light a T-boned Harlan in his mother's Volvo. There had been absolutely no way to save him.

I cried for months. School meant nothing to me anymore and the only people I would talk to were Trent and Aurora. After almost a year, the pain became unbearable. I tried drowning myself in an enormous bottle of whiskey so that I could join him once I was poisoned enough by the alcohol. Trent found me half dead on my bathroom floor and took me to the hospital. My mother sent me to rehab for alcoholism and suicidal tendencies. When I got out, school was nearly over and I had to redo my senior year home schooled.

Harlan died over two years ago, today. I'm now nineteen and have just finished my senior year. I'll be going to school at the state college, which just so happens to be where Trent is. It's also still in my hometown. I can move on, start a family and live a long happy life. The End.

The thing is, I don't want to. I don't want to move on. Over the past two years, Trent and I had gotten pretty close, but every time I looked at him, I saw Harlan on that night in the fields, and it literally murdered me on the inside.

I remembered the note in my hand. I felt it in my hand and nervously unfolded it.

Naomi,

I am having someone write this for me in the hospital. They're saying they can't save me and I'm losing too much blood. I'm sorry this is so quick, but it's all the time I have left. I love you, so much, and I want you to move on. Let Trent and Aurora take care of you while I'm gone. I'm so sorry to do this to you, but please don't let this ruin your life. You're worth so much more than that. Look in your side table drawer; I was waiting for the right moment. Keep it and know that I will always love you. When we can be together again, I'll be waiting.

Love,
Harlan

I was a mess. I was bawling. I ran into my room, not caring about the noise I was making and flew to the bedside table. I yanked the drawer open and inside there was nothing but a black, velvet box.

"No." I whispered as I picked up the little box. I opened it slowly and began crying even harder. Exactly what I'd expected was in that box. A small, simple, white gold band with no stone rested perfectly inside. In the box there was a note that said, "You're the only jewel I need."

I completely lost it. I tore the ring from the box and thrust it onto my finger. A perfect fit.

I ran back down the hallway and ripped open the front door. Down the street, there was a car headed in my direction. I waited until it was close and then ran out into the middle of the street, note in hand, ring on finger.

The driver ruined my plan when he screeched to a halt at just the last second, causing the car to barely nudge me and knock me to the ground. I screamed in outrage.

"NO! YOU ASSHOLE! YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO KILL ME!" I screamed.

"Naomi? What the hell–"

"AGH! NO NO NO!" I roared, beating my fist against the pavement. A pair of arms picked me up off of the ground. "GET OFF OF ME!" I shoved them hard on the chest and looked up to see who my 'savior' was. "Trent?"

"Yeah." He looked pretty exasperated.

"What are you doing this early?" I snapped, still furious.

"Today's two years." He shifted his weight uncomfortably. "And I remembered you saying you haven't been sleeping so I was going to come talk to you."

I cleared my throat and started pacing irritatedly, mumbling to myself.

He looked at my hand. "You found it."

"Excuse me?" I kept pacing.

"The note. You found Harlan's note."

I stopped and cringed at his name. "Yes. How did you know about it?"

"He asked the guy who wrote it for him to give it to me to hide in your house. He said to hide it somewhere you'd find it one day." He glanced at my hand. "I also hid that." He said, referring to the ring.

"Why didn't you tell me?" I barked.

"Because I didn't want you throwing yourself in front of cars, Naomi. What the hell were you thinking?" He sounded really distressed. I walked over to the yard and sat down on the sidewalk. Trent followed and joined me.

"I don't want this anymore, Trent. I don't want this pain. All I am is a shell. A freak show that my parents and friends have to tend to to make sure I don't hurt myself or cause trouble. No one really sees me anymore, because I'm gone. I died along with him, Trent. No one loves me anymore; he was it. I'll never have that again. No one will ever care for me like Harlan did."

"You don't know that. Maybe it's you that doesn't want to care about anyone like you cared about Harlan."

I huffed and laid down on the grass. "Name one person, Trent; Someone that could take care of me like that; Someone that could unconditionally love me like he did. There's no one! I mean shit, I don't even love myself anymore. I can't stand to look at myself in the mirror. I haven't been hugged in almost a year and a half, haven't laughed, truthfully laughed, since he died. I'm worthless."

"I think you're just blind to what's going on around you. I think you're not allowing yourself to see what's right in front of your face. People do love you. We do, really. It tears everyone apart to see you so broken. And as for someone loving to like Harlan, how do you know there's not someone who feels that way."

I rolled my eyes. "Well, whoever they are, I welcome them to show themselves."

Suddenly, Trent's hands were grasping my arms and pulling me up. Before I could ask what he was doing, he kissed me.

No kidding. He kissed me, on the mouth. At first, I wanted to pull away and slap the shit out of him. But I found myself kissing him back. It felt so good to have someone holding me again. The pain was dulling, but not disappearing completely. I wrapped my arms around his neck and pulled him in closer to me. In my stomach, there was a slight pang of betrayal, but then it was soothed as a line from the note ran through my mind.

"I love you, so much, and I want you to move on. Let Trent and Aurora take care of you while I'm gone."

Trent. How could I not have seen?

I pulled away and found myself smiling. Trent looked rather bewildered. "Well, that was…something." I cleared my throat.

"I love you, Naomi. I have for a while. Even when you and Harlan were together. It sucked, but I loved you guys being so happy that it sort of shoved those feelings to the back of my mind. When I found you that day in your bathroom–" he choked back tears and I felt guilty. "And I'm not expecting you to return the gesture. But you have to know; I do. And don't you ever attempt to kill yourself again. Please, Naomi, just stay with me. I know I'm not Harlan, but I do love you and–"

I kissed him lightly and said, "I don't expect you to be Harlan. And, no, I can't say I return the feeling…yet."

He looked confused. "Yet?"

"Well, I mean, it may take some time for me to get used to, but Trent, you're my best friend. And," I sighed, "Yeah I feel pretty bad right now, but I know that it's the best Harlan could've asked for." For the first time in two years, I was actually happy. It was so strange, going from one extreme of suicide to the other of joy.

"Aren't you the least bit confused?"

"Oh, terribly. But that's what I needed; a slap in the face. You just provided me what I needed to move on," I brushed his hair out of his face. "Someone to move on with."

He took my hand and touched the ring. "Does it bother you?" I asked.

"No, in fact, wear it. All of the time." He smiled and kissed me again.

A/N: No clue where this story came from. It's just a OneShot. I'm having SERIOUS writers block right now, so I'm sorry about that. I'll probably post random OneShots like this to try and get the writing juice pumping in my brain again. For right now though, just tell me what you think :)