Seven Signs It's Time To Take A Bath:
1.) When you walk in the room, it seems that everyone has been expecting your arrival.
2.) Your family begins implying that gas masks may be a good investment.
3.) You have a personal attachment to your pet fly swarm.
4.) Not only do most people avoid you, but most animals turn and run as soon as you get within smelling range.
5.) Your friends (those few left, anyway) seem to very busy lately.
6.) As you walk along the road, you notice that small birds that get too close to you suddenly plummet from the sky with little X's in their eyes.
7.) You make scraping noises when you move.
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