This would be My first time~

Have you ever sat down and asked why? There doesn't even have to be any more than that, just the question "why?" plain and simple.


Thing is, the longer you let this linger inside you, the more beastly it becomes. The more it begins to fester inside your brain, like a splinter that you can't reach. Next time that you're alone, do this for me. Stare at the ceiling and just begin asking questions.

Questions, that's what started this madness, questions, the wanting of knowledge, the greedy pursuit of more. You would never do that would you? You have never asked why.

A child is abandoned by his parents.


A father kills his son.


A girl is murdered while her friends watch.


Of course, you never ask that do you, you just assume that they are bad, evil deeds. But that is the great power of WHY, it will reverse your thinking. The child is abandoned because the family cannot support him, and they leave him on a doorstep of a church.



The father killed his son because he could not bear the sight of his weakened child with his in-curable brain tumor. The dad did not want his child to feel any more pain. Let me ask you again, is this wrong?

The girl is a thief, who has killed for drug-money. Her killers are the police. But you would never assume these things would you. You only assume that they are wrong because they bear words such as




Do you begin to see the power of the question why?

It is in the pursuit of the answers to questions that people do not want answered that have left me in such a dismal state. It is rather fighting when Man can ask such questions, but it is even more frightening when thy find the answers. It is the worst when the pieces fit, and madness becomes reason, and reason is unexplainable happening through times and the inner cosmos of our existence. We are but puppets, you and I, just mere plaything to greater powers that watch us.

Why are we here? There's that why word again, now you're beginning to think. That's good, you're going to need to think. I know the answers, I know the repercussions of asking the question why, and the rewards, of course, for asking the same question.

Rewards, that's funny. If you're reading this journal just for the rewards of finding out the answers to questions, you should close this now. No, you NEED to close this now, you will not be able to harness the images, and the twisted visions of a madman.

I suppose I should start off with my name. I used to call myself Milo, when I was sent free. Free from Seven Peaks Mental Institute, not free of mind.

Free of mind

I know that I was not ready to be set free from that place. I was not ready to be set free from the white walls, the dirty tables, small windows, from all the tings that allowed your mind to stay numb, and not ask questions over things that have already been answered. My mind wandered still too much.

Yet, on May 29, a shadow was cast over my cell's door. It was the man telling that I was now a free man. In his hands, he held a book, which bore no sort of distinction of what it could be. It was black, made out of leather, though my memory may fail me. The Pages were blank, every single one of them. except for the fourth.

Yes, I remember it now. The fourth page had the words~


Now I know the answer. I know the answer to the question "WHY IS CURIOSITY TO DIE FOR?"

You tell me, does it hold you, or are you still free? If the answer be the ladder, run from this journal. Never think of it again. Cast it back into the shadow, cast it back into the unknown, into the great, dark abyss. Cast back all of your questions, and all or your answers. Cast away your curiosity.

I'll ask you again, does curiosity have you?