Pt.2 Alex's Diary
Um … Well I'm Alex Sera Smith … and well … I'm dead I killed myself … never do what I did it made everything better but it hurt someone … someone I cared about. Something I wished I would have realized is that if someone cares about you … even if it is only that one person life is worth living … hears my diary entries for the last 12 days of my life feel free to read them if you'd like
Sunday the 1st3:46am
Dear Diary, I hate this I can't stand it any more … God if you are real please deliver me from Hell! What have I done please God tell me? Why am I stuck here? Why do I have to stay hear in Hell? I have school tomorrow I hate it am a complete outcast oh well that means people are less likely to find out! I need some sleep its already early Dear God let no other child be forced to live in there own Hell!
Monday the 2nd6:20am
Dear Diary, Monday's God … Waking up to fists and screaming. Getting ready for school. Ignoring the thought of death, well trying to ignore it. … Picking up my razor. Drawling neat thin lines that no one will see. Warm blood trickling down my arms., Getting dressed, hiding bruises., Leaving, sitting in class, saying nothing. Just an empty vessel no one would miss. God please give me strength to live for at least one more day! Hell I haven't even slept
yet and I wake up in 10 min. damn dad finally went to bed so I can finally get some rest oh
well … Shit I have a test In English time to study … God please help me last let me last.
Tuesday the 3rd 12:18am
Dear Diary, God help I don't know what to do any more she left today … my mom … when I was at school I came home and she had already left I need to sleep I need to get my head strait my thoughts are running 200m/h. God please help! my life is falling apart Please God!
Wednesday the 4th 9:57pm
Dear Diary, Dad is already asleep he's drunk as hell! I really don't mind that means that I get the night with out him there! A night with out fists and screaming God let this last. God help me in the morning
Thursday the 5th3:28am
Dear Diary, God Why? Please tell me did I do something? every part of me hurts! Did I do something that I am being punished for? I had to do my make up in school today but you know it is weird that no one cares if I'm late for school I need sleep God please give me the strength that I need to hold on at least one more day!
Friday the 6th2:12am
Dear Diary, Today was odd this girl… her name is Amber she's this preppy girl in most of my classes. Well she spoke to me today and that's really weird! Would she really risk her social standing for me? Well I'll see. Please God lend me your strength!
Saturday the 7th3:57am
Dear Diary, I hate Saturdays more then I hate Mondays home alone with dad all day…God please, please help God if you love all your children then why, what? is this what you call love God If you love me then God take me!
Sunday the 8th4:17am
Dear Diary, God I hate you!!! You say that you will never turn your back on your children then where are you! You have still to help me and I always pray to you. You never help. You're never there. God I hate you!!! God I hate my Father. God I hate my Mother…God I hate myself most of all!!! Please let this end!
Monday the 9th2:00am
Dear Diary, God I love my vary sharp friend! It's the only thing I can trust not to hurt me with out me letting it!!! She ignored me today I really don't know why that bothers me! I normally want people to leave me alone! I'm leaving God please don't make me come back!
Tuesday the 10th6:20am
Dear Diary, Damn it!!! The cops brought me back home they actually made me go home! God why? What have I really done? Why have you forsaken me Lord? How can it be that no one can see the truth! Dear Lord help me find a way out if you don't help I'll find my own way!
Wednesday the 11th4:30am
Dear Diary, Amber is two faced as Hell one minute she is telling me we cat really talk, which I actually understand, but then she gives me her phone number. I feel bad … I flipped her off. She probably wont talk to me again Dear Lord please let it all work please!
Thursday the 12th 12:48am
Dear Diary, I hadn't gone to school today I cant stand this anymore Dear Lord I quote myself "help me find a way out if you don't help I'll find my own way!" well that's just what I am going to do! Lord please let me gain entry but even if you don't Hell would be a paradise compared to this! It hurts so much but I know it will make all the pain go away! The water … It's turning red I'm so cold I actually am so scared I'll actually call Amber!