"What happened to you?" she asks me.
Can I see her? Yes, I can.
But I don't see her.
Instead, I'm looking at a ghost of who I once thought she was.
But that's not really who she is.
That's not really her.
"Are you even listening to me?!" she shrieks.
Her voice sounds far away, too distant for me to possibly be able to care.
But of course I can hear her.
She rings in my head.
All the time?
All the time.
I turn to look at her even though I don't really want to.
But I can't look away.
She glows. Like the devil in a clean room.
Am I making the wrong comparison or has it all got to do with my state of mind?
I chuckle. I can't help it.
The sound rings in the silence.
Her lips are pressed tightly together and her face glares at me.
"What the hell is so goddamn funny?" she asks.
Her voice is so sharp.
I can feel it cutting into my skin, leaving future scabs behind.
What is so funny?
I don't really know anymore.
But I do know what can fix that.
I look away from her and reach into my pocket.
"What are you doing?" she asks. There's a hint of fear behind her words.
Don't worry darling, I could never lay a hand on you.
I pull it out as I settle onto the floor.
As my eyes take it all in there's a sudden hunger in my gut.
I don't want this.
I need this.
I could try to tell her that but I know she would never understand.
So I stay quiet instead, listening to the sound of her breathing.
"I will not let you do this to yourself." She says, lowering herself slowly.
I watch her hands move in the direction of my hand and I snatch it away immediately.
I look up at her, anger blazing in my veins.
Do you think you are better than me because of it?
Do you think that I don't know what I'm doing?
Oh, I know what I'm doing, alright.
I'm bowing down to my one and only master.
The only being on this entire earth that could ever control me.
And I admit it. Yes, it controls me.
But I only have one master.
How many do you have?
How many people do you bow down to?
Teachers? Friends? Parents?
I will never let them control me...ever again.
Her eyes widen and she slowly pulls her hand away, straightening up as she does.
Tears stain her cheeks as she exhales roughly and turns around.
I watch her walk to the door, stopping before she turns to face me for the last time.
"I always thought..." she begins, choking on her words. "I always thought you'd turn it around. Give it up and start anew. But today, I see that I must have been dreaming. I also always thought I'd never give up on you. I'm sorry but..."
Her voice trails on somewhere in my consciousness but I am not listening anymore.
I've heard this speech way too many times before.
I knew she'd leave. Just like all the others.
There's a tug in my chest and I feel a wave of...pain?
Is that my heart?
I forget, what does that feel like again?
I shake my head vigorously.
Some things are best left forgotten.
I don't know when she stops talking or even when she leaves.
I can't bring myself to even pretend to care.
Right now, I am in my happy place.
I'm floating so high that I surpass the clouds. No mere human could ever reach me.
My mind stumbles over memories.
Memories of who she and I used to be.
Her voice rings in my ears, like it always has and always will.
"Do you know what you're doing to yourself?"
Yes, I do.
"Do you know what you're doing to me?"
It's not about you.
"Why won't you just stop?!"
Because I can't.
"You're throwing your life away!"
"Please, you need help."
I chuckle at the last one.
It's just hilarious whenever she says that.
She does not know that I am beyond help.
From this world, anyway.
No one can do a thing for me.
Why? Because I am above them.
I am above you.
We are on two different levels that will never meet.
I could try to explain this to her.
But yet again, she just wouldn't get it.
So instead I get higher, muting her words as I soar past the sky and into i n f i n i t y...
A/N: This story was written for the Writing Challenge in the Review Game. Go check it out sometime.