Pieces of the Puzzle

Written by Kir Sirin

This is a pillow book, a contemplation of my thoughts, feelings, and everything I have ever wanted to say in my entire life. It's a mixture of many different genres. You may not know the people I refer to but, by the end of this, you will know them just as well as I do. No one will be spared, every feeling will be explored, and I will do my best to keep everything in context.

So let's start with me.

My name is Sammy.

I have hazel eyes and brown hair that I love to run my fingers through.

I love to write, spin stories, and see the hilarious faces people produce when I tell them. Writing is my outlet, the way I deal with the way I feel, when I'm caught in a sentimental spell, I have to write something.

Whether those words are posted on this site is a debate I have almost every week.

I enjoy the winter because the cold wind allows me to stop thinking and it chills my bones that it makes coming inside a warm house that much more enjoyable.

The best music in the world is laughter, but alternative comes very close.

I will do anything for someone's smile. It's the most beautiful thing in the world. I enjoy making people happy, seeing them smile, and having them tell me how happy I make them and how much fun I am to be around.

I believe that you should embrace every color in Life, and if you're not living the way you want to, then you should do everything in your power to strive for your ideal life. There was a time when I wasn't always like this. I wasn't always happy, laughing, loud, 'crazy', and 'fun to be around'. I was quiet and withdrawn from the world and, one day, I realized I hated it.

So I decided to change.

People think my life is 'like a sitcom', when I just believe that my life is colorful and how I want it to be. No one has a perfect life and you should only try to be happy.

I love the fall because of the weather and how blue the sky always is. It contrasts beautifully with the fallen leaves and always puts a smile on my face.

I love singing out loud even when I don't know the words.

I love being loud around quiet people, I feel as if I have to be loud for both of us. According to Geralyn, I "bring people out of their shell". People tell me I'm someone everyone should know at least for a few moments.

I love the tightening of my heart whenever I write something heartfelt.

I love the first time someone tries to hold my hand, that slow, awkward, nervous feel to it as they intertwine our fingers.

I love L's laugh, because its something I rarely ever hear.

I love it when people tell me I'm a great story teller.

I love getting packages, because it almost never happens.

I love how beautiful my hands look and how soft they are to the touch.

I love laughing so hard I cry and no sound comes out.

I love falling asleep and then waking up to the sound of someone knocking on my window.

I love lying on my back and playing Connect the Dots with the stars.

I love oversized headphones.

I love sewing and cosplaying.

I love it when someone falls into my trap and I get to smirk at their foolishness.

I love the ocean.

I love the first second after you jump into a pool and the cold shocks your entire body.

I love being embarrassed.

I love saying stupid things.

I love sexual innuendos that don't make sense.

I love plot twists, in life and in stories.

I love the way Kevin's crystal blue eyes shimmer whenever he looks at me and how they crinkle whenever he smiles.

I love Ambar's laugh.

I love the color purple.

I love eyes so dark I can see myself in them. Not because I'm vain and I'm using them as a mirror, but because I can see all the terrible things about myself in those eyes and I secretly hope that they can't see them as clearly as I do.

But, most of all, I love strawberries.

"Sam…"

"Yeah?"

"You know I still love you, right? Even, you know, after all this time?"

"How many times are you going to tell me? You still don't know what love is, Kevin. You don't love me like that and you know it."

"I'll say it until you believe it."

"Then you'll always say it, because I'll never believe it."

"Well…I'd say it anyway, even if you believed me. No matter what you say, I know what love is, because I see it everyday when I look at you. I…I feel it. Keh, come on, don't look at me like that. You're making fun of me, I know it!"

"I didn't say—"

"In your mind!!"

"Kevin, I—"

"IN YOUR MIND!"