There's something about a certain song that just strikes you.
The Dangerous Summer has an effect like that on me.
So, ladies and gentlemen (are there any guys that read this?), I am back.
Maybe to stay, maybe just to disappear all over again.
Things to tell:
I went to the Say Anything concert.
My dad went with me along with a few of my friends. Max Bemis leaned into the crowd and a bunch of people leaned in to touch his face (because God knows he's practically a demigod at times) and me, Dave, and Travis were one of those people. I got so many videos of him singing and you wanna know the best part?
I sat out in the freezing cold until 3:38 in the morning (knowing full well school was hitting me in a few hours) and got a picture with Max.
WITH MAX. BEMIS.
Its my screensaver on my IPhone.
Oh yeah, got that for my birthday.
And I got that Pulse Smart Pen, all the Dexter books and season DVDs, a bunch of strawberry stuff, and this very pretty ring from Travis. Its this double ring with a red heart on one with a shitload of this small rubies and then another heart that dangles over my finger. I dunno how to describe it. It's so beautiful. He got it at the Woodlands at some diamond place called Swaowski or something like that. (I cant spell for shit tonight). He haggled the price and got the employee discount on it haha.
And I got these cool looking Batman shoes.
Always love the Batman gifts haha.
As for dramatic things (because the girls reading this are dying to read about my drama and romantic... Issues? Not the right word. Romantic weakness), everything has been pretty quiet.
Like a a little kid watching The Dark Knight during the fourth of July while a massive hurricane blows outside.
Dont talk about my metaphors.
They suck right now.
I just suck right now.
I cant finish writing my book that might actually, really, truly, honestly, get published, and I dont feel like complaining tonight.
Calm down ladies, we all know you love to hear me complain.
Haha. Why do I write like Im the most famous person on this site? Thats most certainly not true. Its probably some 23 year old girl who writes boyxboy stories and has a handcuff fetish.
Really. It probably is.
But I shouldnt talk. I write girly "oh I just want her to notice me" stories. Although the stories I want published have no gay/lesbian characters unless they're stereotypes because my sources tell me that "the general public doesnt really read that kind of stuff".
And I have to make a few sacrifices.
But oh, do I imply such forbidden things.
Because really, my first big hit was a shoujo-ai story and what kind of shallow monster could I be not to allude back to my roots?
Anyways. Back to drama.
The boy in the icon on my page is completely in-love with me. And you might say, "Sammie! Thats not a bad thing at all!" Oh but it is.
Because dammit, now everyone looks at us like every other couple.
"Oh they think they're in love", they say "but really it will just end in a month."
And really, in all things good and practical, it truly might. I mean, I might wake up one morning and think ugh. I hate that loser.
No one knows what goes on in the world of Super Sam.
Or was I Awesome Sam?
I dont know but any more of these superficial nicknames and I'll start to sound like L.
Which brings me to something horrible..
I dont think he likes me very much anymore.
I mean, I'm sure he does, but probably not as much. Since, you know, for two years he's had a crush on me and has refused to act on it while I wait patiently for that interesting butt of his to get into some type of "mood making" action. And, alas, he never did so nothing happened between us. Shame.
But anyways we were supposed to hang out during the Christmas break, even had a day and stuff to do all planned out, but Fuddruckers (where I now work Java Pi Cafe went out of business) decided to ruin it so I had to go to work at four. I texted him saying to come around 11 so we could get a few more hours in and he didnt respond. I assumed he would show so I woke up bright and early and then slipped in the shower naked as a naked person and busted my head open on the side of the pearly white tub. Stained with blood, my mom freaks and calls 911. Im there for a week. No phone, no computer. I come back only to find no "hey where are you? What happened? Why the fuck are you being such a bitch and ditching me?" messages.
So I think he's mad....And I think he's holding a grudge...And I'm too scared to talk to him because I dont want L, Matt Cusimano, very nice friend of mine, to tell me what a bitch I am.
I've had enough of those talks. Really. I'm trying to invent a new word to counteract the "b-word" so I can fill my ears with something other than a redundant, old, stale "bitch".
Whatever happened to poop-head?
So yeah. Some more drama.
And apparently Geralyn wants to hang out on MLK day. Since I'm so missed that sending her a simple "hey, say hi to me" message makes her entire day.
Really. She said so. With a big smiley face after it.
I'm very charming when I want to be and people havent seen me in months so they forget how annoying I am.
Some would argue but I'm pretty sure my...Spontaneity gets old. Because no one likes broken bones.
But I am reminded by everyone that I am an adorable, charming, little girl.
Emphasis on little.
I do try though. Especially on the black lunch ladies who are so mean to everyone. All I have to do is smile, say something charming like "your eyes look so pretty today!" or gingerly touch their hair and ask "damn why cant my hair be as awesome as this?"
Or something equally cliche and corny.
Something a guy would say when he meets his girlfriends mom for the first time.
"You didnt tell me you had a sister!"
And they give me free cookies and dont lace my food with cyanide.
Thats always a plus.
And...Drugs suck. Stop doing them kiddies. They suck.
Im tired of everyone saying, "Dude I got totally fucked up last night!" Or "Man I am so baked. The girls restroom smells like so much weed!"
Ive done my share of dugs and I know that they get old after a while just like everything else.
Drinking, drugs, sex, and rock n roll.
Lame, lame, overrated, and awesome.
Thats how I label them.
Well this is really just a rant of nothing.
Lets talk Twilight.
Hahahaha no. Lets not. That would be such a mistake.
I GOT A MAC.
It's fucking SWEEET.
My sweetie Dave gave it to me. Why? I dunno. He still likes me I assume and therefore still wants to get me expensive things.
I looked it up online.
It's 3000 dollars.
WHAT THE FUCK.
But his uncle works at an Apple store, so I'm sure he got a discount or something.
WHAT THE FUCK?!
I bought him an eyebrow ring peircing thing and he asked me "whats this for? I dont have my eyebrow pierced..."
And then my new friend Jake jumped him and pierced it.
He was too scared to get it on his own. He's heard some bad stories about them and I knew he really wanted it so...yeah.
I GOT A TATTOO!
Haha no not really. I just wanted to say something random like that.
Ambar gave me an awesome picture of a night I will never forget and a dress I will never live down because I wore the black straps that you use to hang it up on a hanger with as actual straps.
Its in this awesome thick black frame that she decorated herself and I know it's corny and cheesy but damn that simple gift was enough to make my entire Winter Break.
I LOVE THAT GIRL.
I'm at her house and we just do these crazy things and videotape all of it and just dont care. I love it. I can let go and have a good time but Ambar makes me let go and show that wild, dorky side of me that you have to know me for at least four years to see.
We pretend to know how to dance and sing and laugh, laugh, laugh.
I really dont care about keeping friends. I mean, I want SOME friends, but if I end up losing some, it really doesnt mean that much to me.
Yeah, there are always a few exceptions but you know, the thing is, is that shit happens. Friendships end and news ones start.
But with Ambar I cling to her like a monkey to a robot mommy. (Psychology books make me crazy sometimes) I want to know her until I stop breathing and even then I still want to know her because I need something to smile about in hell.
She really does define best friend and make me want to believe in it.
OMG START THE VIOLIN.
Lets rant about the friends I've lost and how they've impacted my view of the world.
Yeah lets not.
I'm in a good mood. I'm in those moods that you just want to sing, dance, smile, and take pictures.
Because I have iWork.
AND THIS SHIT IS LEGIT.
And I just love all-caps.
I WON A WRITING CONTEST!!!!
I got the magazine I was published in for free, 5000 dollars (which unfortunately goes to college), and I WON SOMETHING.
It was the best feeling in the world. I poured my heart out into a story, it turned out to be 25 pages, I sent it in, waited four months, logged on to the site, and screamed when I saw my name.
They didnt even have the decency to send me an e-mail. What if I had forgotten?
BUT I WON!!!!
AND WAS PUBLISHED!!!!!
Sorry. I get excited.
And I'm making a website. About what? I dont know. Give me some ideas.
Im just doing it because I have an application on my Mac that allows me to.
So I'm doing it. Hellz yeah.
Forever the Sickest Kids has a new album. Awesome.
SAFTEYSUIT IS COMING ON THE 30TH!!!!!
This will be the second time I see that AMAZING band.
I should be sleeping, but I'm too excited.
And did I mention I saw Mae too?
I'm on fire.
They were actually really good. Not as good as The Maine but I'm a little biased since they knew me personally for an hour and a half.
Haha as I crowd surf, "Hey it's Sam!" And I wave to the band like I've been their best friend for three years.
Like I said, I got them to sign my purple tie. It's never being washed nor thrown away.
I dont know what to say next...
There is a guy called Jamie D that always pops up when i look up my mail saying he wants to be friends. I added him and then he kept popping up.
I dont know what this nonsense is about.
But I'm tired of it.
My Mac will soon destroy his PC loving ass.
Jare and I now have a plan.
I got this 150 dollar gift card to American Eagle.
So I look all spiffy right now.
And I'm sleepy.
Review with some suggestions of what I should post on my website.
Because I've got basically nothing and I want to make one since I havent done that since I was 12.
Give me crazy ideas, give me practical ideas, give me IDEAS.
To everyone who gives me a suggestion, I will write you something and post it on here and my website. I might even make a video or two and you will see my face in current time. :O
I have a very clean, non-pimple infected face now. It's a very nice change of pace. I love touching my face and feeling the smooth, soft skin brush underneath my fingertips.
Oh God...I'm going into writer mode...
I better stop before I stay up until 6 am writing my story...Although...I probably should stay up...I need to finish that shit...
That wonderful, original, awesome shit. Haha.
Stephanie, you are my everything.
You are the best online bud Ive ever had and shit, I will have known you for such a long time if we keep this up another year.
You've kept my awake for long hours, laughing, spazzing, and spamming.
Without you, I wouldnt have felt nearly as secure about myself as I sounded.
You really helped me with a lot, even though I barely talked to you about my bad problems. You're amazing and damn, just like I said before, you're cute as hell.
I dont know what that was all about but I havent called you out in a long time on this thing. So now I am.
HANDCUFF ME TO HAPPINESS! PEOPLE ARE WANTING IT!!!
In other news....
Another good song?
"6:45" by Dreams of University.
'Tis my ringtone.
Ideas, ideas, ideas, ideas!