The hate and the confusion and the sickness of it all made me afraid to say anything
...the officer yelling in my ear hadn't helped either
My son had been taken away from me
leaving me with my wife and two daughters
on the floor of our small apartment
afraid to move
afraid to speak
afraid to look
and soon they were gone too
my wife being shot for asking too many questions
my daughters taken away and sent to work
and only I am left
to grieve
and deal with the pain left over
from that one cold night
when my family was torn apart
Seems as if I have been spared
only to remember
and look back
on the camp
with glazed over eyes and a feeling of loss that no one can explain
a feeling of knowing that nothing will ever be the same
no matter gow hard I try
my family isn't coming back
and when I think of what caused it all
I get passionately angry with the world
and everyone caught up in it
prejudice taken to a certain level is horrible
but when you are killing people because they are different
it's like a direct order from the devil
such sins as those committed by them
can never be forgiven
atleast i know i never will
because it was my family that they took away from me
and it will never be replaced
and now as i sit in my cold, quiet room
and relive the past as if I never even left it
it's like my own personal hell
that I live in all the time
and I'm stuck in it like a prison
and only when I forget the past will i be let out of it
But how can I forget the faces
the expressions
the feelings
of my family and freinds,
even people I didn't know
they all looked the same


and sad

the scenes are permanently burned into my brain
and I'll never be able to deal with the pain
i sort through it and figure out why it had to happen to me
and my family
and my life
but I never will understand
and that's why I've decided that there are a number of things that will happen to me
I'll either go mad from the remembrance of pain and torture
and run away from the rest of the world
or I'll eventually end my own life
because I do not want to remember
I don't want to think about it
the second choice is
appealing to me very much
it actually seems quite pleasant to me
I'm even getting happier, see?
the torturing is over now
everything will be allright
no more armbands
no more screaming
no more pain
no more death
except the death of my soul...

lost on

that one