"Another day, another beer
spinning the revolver in my head
with every hateful word
every night you lay with her
and
you'll never know how many times I've clicked that chamber back
only
to have you put the safety on
'You should know how I feel..'
but that net will only hold so much
my hand can only shake for so long
until I just give in
slip into my subconscious suicide
and baby,
it feels so sweet to pull that trigger when you push me away
it fires so fucking beautifully
every time you fuck her
leave my memory in the curves of her skin,
it's the same damn touch
the same damn whispers
the same so-called love you once gave me
and now
that devotion is all over your hands
stained with the life you took away from me
I'll bleed out all the lies until there's nothing left
just ash and bone and nightmares,
I'll bleed until you miss me
ache for me
until you can't take a breath without saying my name
and
I'll leave behind the mess
so you'll know exactly what you've done.
'Your sorrys will never be enough to bring me back, my dear.'"

8:36pm---1/6/2009