Casey pushed on the glass door and hesitantly stepped out of the training center. It was raining heavily, and on top of that the wild, gusty wind was whipping water in every possible direction. Well, the poor must pay for all, he thought bitterly and moved into the storm.

Once a month he had a free weekend. He could take his time and pretend he was a normal man, living a normal life. Just for two days he would play this innocent lie on himself to save the precious memories, to remember that life could be simple.

Then he would go on for the next month...and the next...and the next.

It was getting closer to midnight. Guards at the gate had taken shelter in the warm watchtower. Casey placed his card in front of the reader and walked through the wicket, turning up the collar of his jacket. It didn't help. Water trickled down his neck and lashed his face. He instinctively lowered his head and hunched his shoulders as he made an effort to force his way through the wall of rain.

Once Casey had lived a normal life. He'd had a boring, loving family, high grades, and good friends; a happy, carefree time that was past.


Before he met "them". Before they turned his world upside down. Before they opened his eyes to things he had never wanted to see. Before his own heart and mind betrayed him.

He peeked at his watch. The bus should be there in four long, wet minutes.

If only he had known... If only he could have chosen once again. If only he could choose at all! He used to torment himself with that bitter and painful awareness—that some doors, once opened, cannot be closed. But one day he had stopped, tired of pointless "what-if"s. Life hurt. His heart hurt. But people can adjust and, resignedly, so did he.

The bus came up beside him with a loud skidding sound. The door opened with a quiet hiss and Casey was swallowed up by the warmth of its interior. There were three people inside. Tired, indifferent eyes looked him over swiftly, only to focus once again on the darkness outside the window.

He still had a family. He still had his friends. But it was no longer his life and that peaceful existence he'd left behind seemed so artificial now. The truth lay somewhere else and Casey already knew he had been floating on the surface of a waste heap before. He knew it only too well, as wallowing deep in this huge garbage can had become his routine. Only once a month was he able to take a fresh breath of life that wasn't dangerous, rotten, and sick. Two short days at home. Or rather, a place that used to be his home years ago and now was just a sweet illusion of a different reality, the reality he couldn't go back to any more.

Casey sat down with a sigh.

Love uplifts, they say...fucking poets!, he thought with contempt, and he resolved to close his eyes.

He was going home.


Honestly, I think that the story gets its real pace somewhere around chapter 5 (Tough Beginnings). If you think you're tired at the beginning, I just give you a hint ;) And if you don't feel like reading the story, please, leave a review to tell me why. Is it boring? Is it not 'your style'? Should I change something?