Lost

A distant shuffling stirs me from my comatic haze. My eyes, clouded by visions from another time, dance wildly across the back of my eyes. I slowly snap out of my dazed dreamscape, and my eyesight glances around quickly, trying to reassess and gain my bearings.

It is dark.

So very…..very dark.

And cold.

The air is chilly, clamming my skin and giving me a nasty crawling feeling across the base of my spine.

A cell, it seems, has become my residence. Or in a better manner of speaking…..still is.

How this came about is something I'd rather no discuss though.

The walls are closed in, made of slimy, hewn-out stone, and the gate is rusted, running from floor to ceiling, coated with all forms of unmentionable grime. I only know this because of the total duration I've accumulated here in this festering pit of despair, but also by the fact that my face is currently leaned up, propped up against said gate, while the back of my skull rests (rather painfully) back against the adjacent wall.

The shuffling ceases just in front of my cell, and a gruff, booming voice calls out, making the very air stand still and the hairs on the back of my neck stand up on end like miniature spikes.

"You pathetic pile of shit! Have you learned nothing yet?" The voice bellows out to me, standing mere inches from where I am currently slumped. I can feel a light gust blowing from a cape the voice is wearing, as it dusts the ground next to my cage.

I say nothing then, my gaze continuing to penetrate as hard as it can into the ground; I fear to look up any further.

Oh I am all too familiar with whom it is that is speaking to me…….all too familiar.

And I detest it like nothing else on this earth.

"You should leave….you already know my answer." I respond quietly, talking into the earthen floor.

"I wouldn't take that kind of an attitude if I were you." The voice chides me. I feel my insides start to burn with irritation.

It is such a warm and inviting feeling, the warmest I've begun to feel in quite some time; for it is so very cold down here.

"Are you even listening to me?!" The same voice responds, and this time I feel a large, gloved hand grasp tightly around my throat, hoisting me up to its eye level. I a met amazingly by two glowing pupils, staring back out at me from behind the gloved arm, and some unknown darkness that is now permeating the very air between us in a near suffocating manner. I can feel the shadowed figure's hard, cold stare burning into the depths of my soul as I am lofted there, staring back for several moments.

My eyes begin to water then, and my breath pace quickens as the hand squeezes my esophagus even tighter, almost closing my air way entirely.

"I……I am..now!" I gasp out between frantic spurts for air.

"Better." The shadow breathes icily, loosening his grip then. I gasp for air, and my lungs fill sharply with the toxicity around me.

"W…why don't you just end me huh? What use am I to you ANYWAY?!" I crank at them, unsure as to what my true aim is at this pint anymore.

"All this time….all this long time, and you still fail her. You truly ARE a pathetic fool." The shadow's voice drops into a regretful, musing tone.

Anger…no….rage; I feel it beginning to settle its way into my chest, eating at my insides.

"Wait….what does SHE have anything to do with this? What did you do to her?!" I spit my words back into what I deem to bee a face.

The response I earn is that of being pulled forward violently into the bars of my prison cell. I not only hear as it rings throughout my skull, but feel the sickening crack as my face meets metal. The arm releases my neck and I fall forward. The front of my body sliding against the metal rails, landing with a dull thud on the ground. My vision blurs once more and I can feel the gush of blood as it flows freely from my nose and mouth, dripping onto the earthen floor and forming a deep black puddle.

"You…you sick fuck!!!" I curse back, my words muffling through my now busted and swollen lower lip.

"I believe you saw this coming anyways…did you not?" the shadow began. "Time and again you let her down. And time and again her faith in you waned less and less….and even less." The words sting through me like knives.

"She is the only reason you still live too. And it was by her word that you were not executed even sooner; as she merely is incapable herself of bringing you to that sort of suitable ending." The voice teased me further.

"So what? I'm supposed to rot here? For all eternity I'm supposed to just waste away in this blackened hell hole, never to see the light of day….while she…." A vision of my dear lady brightens the back of my mind.

The truth rings best in silence.

And is followed by even more.

"While she lives freely on….without you. Yes." Is the reply I receive then. "So it would seem then. I don't know which is crueler at this point…..here….or death?" They finish, a ring of chance in their tone.

Chance that I'll fall into an even deeper depression and end it all myself most likely.

"Oh….I thought for sure you'd have tried long ago to amend this. But is seems you really are completely gone from any suiting grace then." The shadow leans forward in a hushed voice.

"You know what must be done. Why don't you pursue it? Why is it you continue to linger on in this darkness?" The voice chuckles, bemused with wonder as to my impending answer.

"……………"

"Well?"

"……I know not." Is all I can say.

"Too bad." The figure moves away, making their leave from this place.

A panic builds then as they move further and further down the way, and I begin hyperventilating at the thought of facing this darkness all alone once more.

"Wait…..WAIT!!!! I SAID WAIT YOU SONNUVABITCH!!!!!!!!!!" I cry out in a frenzy. I reach my arm out to motion them back; I can no longer see them in the shadowy abyss.

"I told you what to do long ago…..so I no longer see a need to continue waiting for you…..and neither can our lady." The figure stops momentarily. "I am only remorsed that it has come this far. They open a door, and I hear as it is shut forcibly, leaving me isolated once again.

Silent sobs rack my body and I grip onto the cell bars with a vice hold. My arms fall after several minute and I resume my nostalgic coma, slipping into a dreamscape once more, never to be disturbed.

A solitary tear...my last waning hope, trickles slowly down my cheek, falling into the blackness that surrounds me.

Lost forever……just like I am.

~BS