Sunflower Canvas

by; Deandra Lily

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My account is pretty pitiful so I decided to upload a little something. It's a the first out of four parts of a one shot I wrote not so long ago. I wanted to write something light, happy and straight to the point so here. It's technically BL but I didn't really make it stand out much.

I hope you like ~

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The First Day

When I look outside the window, I see a bunch of things to draw; the afternoon sky, the wind blowing through the leaves on the trees or even the girl by the fountain confessing to an upperclassman. But lately, I seem to drawing only one thing.

"Gather 'round! Good work guys!"

My gaze looks for him and hands sketch him unconsciously. Before I knew it, my sketchbooks were filled with images of him.

"Hitoshi, are you coming later? The girls all want to see you."

"Sorry, not today. I've got something to do."

Hitoshi.

He's the pitcher on our school's baseball team. He's our ace and he's a great player. But apparently our team doesn't win many games. There isn't much I know about him anyway. I've never met him directly. I only know what Ran, a childhood friend of mines, tells me and what I hear from the voices out the window. Hitoshi's a senior just like me. But that's where the similarities stop. He's bright and kind. He gets along with everyone and smiles a lot. He had a passionate and carefree air to him. But when he was pitching, his face expression changed to a serious one. The first time I saw that face, I knew I had to draw it. I never saw such a real expression before. I was attracted to that passionate and determined side of him. I was attracted to his presence.

"Natsu?" It was Ran. "I knew I'd find you here!"

I gave her a brief nod as 'hello'.

"Hmm, so you're painting him now? As if the drawings weren't enough! You draw him like a maniac. You think maybe you can give me a few to sell to the fangirls?"

"... I don't mind,"

Ran frowned. "Wrong answer. Gee, and I thought that would definitely work."

"What ... do you mean?"

Ran scratched her head. "Well see, have you ever thought you might possibly have feelings for Hitoshi?"

I tilted my head slightly. "'Feelings'?"

"You know, like, maybe you like him?"

I tilted my head to the other side. "But ... he's a guy."

"So?" She said, sighing. "Natsu, do you realize that it's not normal for a guy to draw another guy so much? Do you have a reason? Have you ever stopped to think about it?"

"..."

"Natsu, it's weird!"

"How so?" I wasn't getting it. Ran looked hopeless.

"Never mind. I came here to tell you something else anyway." She paused. I think she wanted me to say something but I remained quiet. "Hitoshi ... might be forced to leave the baseball team."

"..."

Ran stared at me but I said nothing.

"Agh! What?! No reaction at all?!"

"I was ... supposed to react ...?"

Ran slapped her forehead. "Natsu! If Shin leaves the baseball team, you won't be able to draw him anymore!"

"..."

Ran doesn't know, but at that very second I thought 'No, I don't want that'.

Ran took the rest of the lunch hour to tell me what happened. It's nothing new but, Naoto (a reserve pitcher) absolutely hates Hitoshi. He thinks that he's full of himself because he's a such a good player on a crappy team. It was only feelings up until Naoto openly showed his dislike of Shin during practice. The fights were getting worst and this morning Naoto finally lost it. The coach wasn't happy and forced the two to think up a compromise for the situation. Naoto said he wouldn't be happy until Hitoshi gave him a proper reason for remaining on the team. That's when Hitoshi said 'If you really dislike my presence here, then I'll leave ... as long as you defeat me in a fair match.' The reason I know the exact words is because Ran remembered them. Thus, Naoto challenged him to a basket-ball match. Apparently, it's hardly a fair match considering how Naoto was on the basket-ball team in junior high. He had an advantage over Hitoshi who played only baseball all his life.

It was completely unfair.

And to think, something as petty as a junior's jealousy was going to away my favorite sketch subject. I didn't like the idea one bit and the thought itself surprised me. Was I really the type to care so much?

"Ah! You're expression changed!"

Ran's voice snapped me out of my thoughts. After re-focusing my gaze, I turned to look out the window. There was no one on the field anymore. Hitoshi wasn't on the field anymore. And there was a chance he'd never be on the field ever again.

"I kind of ... don't want that ..."

Ran turned towards me in a quick move. Her eyes were wide open. "W-was that 'concern'?!"

"Is there ... something wrong with that?"

"Uh, well, no ... It's just .. Natsu, you ... haven't expressed emotion for a really long time. It's just weird."

Outside, the clouds began to moan softly in the sky. It was going to rain soon.

"Yeah maybe ... it is kinda weird."

After school, I make my way to the usual empty and useless clubroom above the baseball diamond. It's a place I've made home in my early freshman days. I expect it to be empty, but there's already someone inside. Ran? No. It's a guy. He's standing by the unfinished canvas I left there at lunch. His hand reaches for the cloth covering the drawing. I stop him from removing it.

I walked up to him and placed my hand slowly on his. His hand immediately stopped. I could only note the warmth of his hand until he retreats it. I look up. It's Hitoshi.

He blinks twice and flusters for a second as he scratches the back of his head. He looks like a cat caught red-handed. He's probably thinking of what to say and how to apologize. His eyes wander the floor; looking everywhere but at me.

"It's not finished." I tell him.

"Eh?" He sounds surprised I spoke.

"The painting. I didn't finish it yet."

I step back and stood in front of him properly. He looked nervous in my presence. He was like a completely difference person from the one I always drew. But it was still Hitoshi. The kind and innocent gaze of his won't change. It was his face; the face I loved, the face with the best expressions. The truest expressions.

He bowed his head slightly.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to-"

I shook my head before he could say more. "Do you have any business here?"

He straightened up and cleared his troat. He tried to calm down before speaking again. I waited and examined his face closely. It's the first time I've seen him up close. I'd better remember the details of his appearance for future drawings.

"T-this ..." He stuttered. Did he notice I was staring? "This might be sudden coming from someone you don't even know but ..."

I interrupted him again. "It's Hitoshi, right? I can see the field from here."

"Oh."

He looked disconcerted now. I think I just ruined his pace.

Brief silence.

"I-I want you to come see my match on Friday!" He finally declared.

Sudden, indeed.

"If I win, there's something I want to tell you."

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