Once

Twice

Three times good-bye

So bitter sweet

How could you, You, make me feel this way?

When I first had to say good-bye

I wished for death

I wouldn't catch my breath

My stomach ached

My heart beat wildly

My head was ready to explode

And it felt as if some one had stabbed a sword full through me

I couldn't even cry

I was beyond tears

I have never felt something so horrible

So powerful before

How could you do that to me?

You didn't know did you?

Could you tell how I ached and suffered?

Did you feel the same?

I was so upset I couldn't say any of the things I wanted to

The second time was different

I heard you sweet voice

I thought I was hallucinating

How could you do here?

You had left

Gone off to fight

Gone to war'

But you were there

I haven't even left yet

You said

Fate had allowed you a few extra days

And when I left that night I had to say good-bye again

It was painful

But not as bad as the first

In my mind I had begun to hope you would never leave

I sighed

I wanted you to stay with me forever

But you were not mine

But she was not there

You shook my hand

I felt a twinge of sadness

Only a handshake?

Then you pulled me into an embrace

And put your head on my shoulder

I sighed, this was happiness

This was bliss

I said a few silly words

Trying not to think of what might come

Trying to keep my tears at bay

But that night I cried

I had let you go

And I still had not said the things I meant to

The third time, ah the third time

Never have I felt so much joy and pain at the same time

I saw you as soon as I came in

You looked sad

I knew at once this would be the last

The true good-bye

Smiled at you

Pretending not to be sad

I knew you would want it that way

I tried to act like it was any other night

But I could tell that you wanted to talk to me

And she wasn't there

Again

As you went to leave I flung my arms around you

Everyone else was talking

No one seemed to notice

I love you

I whispered

Half hoping he wouldn't hear

He pulled me away from him and looked into my eyes

You do?

Yes

Don't lie to me

I wouldn't. I've loved you since….i don't know when

I blushed and looked down

She isn't good enough for you,

I said

She doesn't love you…

I know

Then why-

Shhh, I don't know

I looked down again

I love you

What!

I looked up

So surprised

I love you!

He whispered in my ear

I smiled

And he kissed me

I wrapped my arms around him

My anxiety and sadness burning away

Like mist

I was happy

Then it hit me

HE

WAS

LEAVING

I gasped and stopped kissing him

I started to cry

He kissed my forehead

Please don't cry

It's going to be hard enough to leave you as it is

I whipped away my tears and tried to smile

I looked up at him

He was crying too

I love you

Then he was gone

That night I couldn't sleep

I lay awake

Consumed by sadness

Why?

Why him?

I had only realized how much I loved

And now he was gone

And he loved me too

Why hadn't I said anything before?

I could have been his

And he mine

I hoped that I would never have to say good-bye again

I loved him

And all I could do was wait

Wait for my soldier to come home