The Daily Life of Brooke the Human Female

NOTE: Please excuse the typo in the introduction. I wrote 'happened' instead of 'happen'. I apologize.

Chapter One: Coke vs. Pepsi

Does anyone else feel that the Coke vs. Pepsi war gets a little out of hand sometimes? I've been brought up in a Coke family, which suits me just fine. We're not an obsessive Coke family (well...except for my sister, but we won't go into that), so the occasional Pepsi isn't seen as an issue. I have this friend though, who doesn't quite feel the same way.

I mentioned that I was drinking a Pepsi, and this was his reaction:

"SINNER! SINNER! SINNER!"

I tried to defend myself, explaining that it's not a sin to drink Pepsi, but he wouldn't hear it. True, he's somewhat of an over-opinionated fellow, but I thought that he would at least listen to reason. He didn't.

"You're lucky I have compassion," he said.

I'm pretty sure that if he didn't have that so-called passion, I would be a dead lady right now. Thinking back on this evening, I'm actually a very lucky girl; I almost took my Pepsi with me to my guitar lesson today, of which he is the teacher. This is how I imagine the scenario would have been like, had I taken that carbonated beverage with me:

Brooke sat on the edge of her chair, her guitar perched upon her knee as she checked to see it was in tune. Upon completing this task, and seeing that there was yet five minutes before the lesson began, she set her instrument aside and picked up her bottle of Pepsi, from which she took a long and satisfying gulp. As she took the bottle away from her mouth and placed the cap back on, Horatio entered the room, and he did not look pleased at all.

"What is that you're drinking?" he asked, his eyes fixed on her face with an expression of rage.

Brooke raised her eyebrows innocently and replied, "Pepsi."

In an instant, Horatio had crossed the room and was standing directly in front of Brooke, hands on his hips and malice written across his red face. "How dare you bring that into this building. How dare you sully the reputation of this guitar class. Do you want to die? Is that what you want? Because that sure as heck seems like what you want, since you brought that vile liquid into my presence."

"I was thirsty," she said simply.

"That excuse is not acceptable," he said. Then, he went to his guitar case and pulled out a large machete. "I'm afraid that I will have to kill you now, Brooke. It was nice knowing you, although I feel deceived now, knowing that you are a Pepsi person. I thought you were better than that."

He raised the machete over his head, and poised to bring it down on her face. Acting quickly, Brooke grabbed her guitar and hit him in the gut with it, and then ran out of the room, down the street, and then onto the highway where she did not stop running until she made it to Mexico.

Truly, I feel that is what would have happened. If you knew Horatio the way I do, this scene would leave no doubts in your mind. In fact, if I told you that it happened, you would believe me and offer to hide me. And for doing that, I would truly thank you from the bottom of my heart. You would be playing the part of a kind friend, which is what everyone needs. Thank you.