Shh! Yes. I know. Another sad fic. I can't help it!
Fair warning: this is my first ever fic written in first person. Shocking!
I just felt that first peron would be a lot better for this story than third person.
Please bear with me.
I hope you enjoy ~


I see them laughing. She smacks his arm as he tells her one more joke, my joke, I believe, as I distinctly hear words I had spoken just a mere hour ago. His brown eyes twinkle in mischief as he earns yet another slap on the arm. His boisterous laugh echoes through the hall as I find myself sinking back in the shadows.

Jake is my best friend. We've known each other for 7 years. Those 7 years of my life had been the best, to say the least. We were each other's halves – we do absolutely everything with each other. Every summer, it is tradition that we go to the theme park and ride every single rollercoaster, despite the long lines, starting from the scariest of them all. In school, our lockers are always beside each other – our last names have only a one letter difference. His friends are my friends and my friends are his. In a nutshell, we are attached to the hip.

I guess that's why Jake only thinks of me as a best friend. That's all I'll ever be to him, a best friend and nothing more. But of course, like the plots of those typical teen novels, the heroine usually sees the guy as more than a best friend. In the end, she gets the guy and they all live happily ever after. The end.

Sadly, that's not how it is in my life. I'm not even sure if I can call myself as a "heroine". I'm just a typical teenage girl with too much time on her hands. Baseball is my sport – it's Jake's sport as well – and I'd rather play video games than go to the mall. Scratch that; perhaps I'm not a typical girl – that's yet another reason why Jake sees me as nothing more than his best friend.

If it isn't obvious enough, I like Jake. In fact, I like him a lot. I'm scared to say it, but this feeling I have for him is bordering the L word. It just sucks that he doesn't feel the same way. And just how do I know this? Easy. He comes to me for advice on how to get every single girl he liked to fall for him.

Every single one of those times is like a stab in the heart. He liked this one girl, Joni was her name, and I clearly remember him coming up to me after baseball practice demanding how to get the smartest girl in school to go out to a date with him. I'm not saying that Jake is dumb, in fact, he is far from that – but girls always make him nervous. I, on the other hand, do not. I told him to simply take a chance and go up to her. I wanted to tell him to give her flowers (Joni hates flowers with a passion), but I held my tongue. As much as I disliked the fact, I want Jake to be happy. And he was.

The girls came and go, but I stuck by him playing baseball and kicking his ass in video games. His latest conquest is Hannah, a girl that can't seem to stop smiling. She's pretty, that I'd admit, but I hate to see her with Jake. So one day after playing DDR, Jake stopped the game and asked me how to ask her on a date. I told him to show her his funny side; Hannah loves to laugh.

He took the advice using the joke I had just recently told him. And seeing how Hannah is still talking to him with a happy glint in her eyes, I knew that he once again has a new girlfriend.

I resisted the urge from bagging my head in the locker beside me. I refrain from showing emotions; I don't cry very often either. But as I see Jake and Hannah leave through the school door hand in hand, a few tears slipped from my eyes. I want to be the girl Jake is pinning over. I want my hand to be the one Jake is holding. To see him sweat under the pressure of asking a girl out, to see him shake with fear wondering if she would ever say yes to him is a constant reminder that I will never be more to him than what I am now.

"Hey Ash! Hurry up! You still have to help me pick out some cool wallpaper for my room." Jake shouted after sticking his head through the door. I hear Hannah giggle at the commotion caused by his shouting.

"I'm coming!" I yelled before quickly opening my locker to hide my tear strained face.

That's all I am, I realized. I'm just like wallpaper. I'm just something to look at, to quickly glance over. No one really takes the time to pay attention to wallpaper. However, as the furniture come and go, the wallpaper remains. No matter how much I want to leave, to get away, I can't. I'm stuck next to Jake just as wallpaper is stuck to the wall.

After gathering my books and closing my locker, I walked down the hallway towards the exit, a forced smile plastered on my face.

"So, do you have any ideas what would look good for my room?" Jake asked as soon as I stepped outside.

"You know me, of course I do!" I replied, raising my voice a little.

"Good. But Ash, I don't want something tacky alright? You might decide to choose some hideous floral design for my room." Jake said with a raised eyebrow, putting his unoccupied arm around me.

I looked up at him, right at his beautiful amber orbs. "Of course not Jake. This wallpaper will be just what you wanted."

"I hope so." Jake responded with a silly grin.

"I hope so too."