I wasn't one of those girls who slept around and I could never imagine sleeping with someone whom I knew nothing about so when we slept together it was just a bit of a shock to me since we weren't really dating. We'd gone out a couple of times over the years for a bite to eat or a swim or to the cinema every once in a while but nothing serious. You were my firs and even though we'd been 'friends' for three years I still didn't believe I knew that much about you. It wasn't at all the way I imagined it would be with you, I wasn't unexplainably drunk, high or desperate and somehow it felt right. I seemed quite sane and although I'd never done 'it' before I felt like I knew exactly what I was doing and you didn't complain.

Maybe you didn't complain because you had dreamt about being with me this way from the first moment you met me a shy, homely girl, three years ago. I watched you date and cheat several girls over the years all the while nursing a wounded heart as the one who held my heart barely noticed that I was alive. I hurt for many days and nights with the simple need to have you with me when I knew you were out there somewhere with one of those nasty girls hanging all over you.

I know these memories were swimming around in my head somewhere but at that moment they couldn't find the surface, they were drowning in my heart beat, pounding so hard in my ears that it erased all common sense. The common sense I had to know that I wasn't the first and probably wouldn't be the last girl you would ever lay with but somehow that didn't matter.

Finally you treated me as though I was the only person in existence. You were so gentle, each kiss, each caress, given as though I was soft enough to break. You looked at me as though I had stars in my eyes but I think I was the one who held them in my gaze because every time I looked at you all I saw was my precious sweetheart who had all the love I could ever possibly give. I knew that I loved you then even though I wasn't quite sure why I also knew that I had no other choice but to love you. I was sure my heart would break if I tried to do otherwise.

It was as perfect as . . . well I really don't have anything to compare it to since you're my first and no one or nothing will ever hold a candle to you. When it was all over you didn't get up and leave as I immediately feared you would but you stayed there with me snuggled under the sheets. Even afterward, you held me and kissed me, that's when my mind came home, and I began to wonder if this is what you did with all your other girls. My mind began to flood with questions and when it became too much to bear I burst into tears. Suddenly I wished I was invisible but I knew you still saw me when you tilted my head upwards and wiped away my tears. You asked what was wrong and I answered truthfully then you soothed my fears by telling me that you'd always been in love with me but like the idiot that you were you couldn't see it. That made the tears flow again and this time you kissed them all away making me feel like I was in a fairytale.

Later that day you had to leave to get ready for work and I missed you like crazy. For a little while I sat there thinking of you and feeling like a complete fool despite you tying to convince me that you cared I still couldn't believe it until you sent me a message. I can still remember what it read: I'm missing you. Will you be mine? I'm already yours.

At least I knew you listened to me because you really did get the Prince Charming part right so I figured I'd try being your girl. It was hard at first since I knew my mother wouldn't approve of an intelligent girl like me dating a high school dropout and overall underachiever; I tried to hide it from her. When we were apart I felt like half my heart was missing and you always let me know that you felt the same. The day eventually came when I had to let her know what was going on because I didn't want to risk her finding out from one of the neighbourhood busy bodies so one day I had you come over and we all sat down so that I could tell her that we had officially been a couple for two months.

After fuming for a few weeks my mom got over it and decided that I could see whoever I wanted to since she'd prefer to know than to have me doing it behind her back. We began to see each other more frequently and publicly after this. It made all your previous girlfriends who had always hated me despise me even more and I couldn't care less because I had you and you always made me feel loved.

At Christmas we both got a lovely gift because I found out I was four months pregnant. Although I had always hoped to get married before having children I was overjoyed. One of my deepest fears had always been that my mother would die and her grandchildren would never get the chance to meet her as had been the case with both her and I but I didn't feel like I had to worry about that anymore.

I was afraid to tell my mom but I was completely terrified at the thought of telling you but still more than anxious about your reaction. I knew you liked babies because I'd seen you with your little sister, that was one of the reasons I'd fallen in love with you, but I didn't know how you felt about having one of your own. I feared losing you but I knew that I was keeping the baby. It was a relief for them when I told you and you almost fainted from shock and it was the first time I had even seen you speechless. I'd seen you quiet but not speechless so when you picked me up and spun me around I was in a complete trance.

We told our moms together but we would have liked to give the news all at once which was impossible since the two did not speak. Despite my fears they did about the same thing burst out in tears and smiles and they both made the same comment that you had spoiled me, a sweet, innocent girl. My dad wasn't a problem either since he hadn't been around me much he'd never had any objections to me dating you and he seemed fairly okay with me having a baby. He wasn't much different from the females since he too shed a few tears.

Your mom and I had always had a pretty good relationship which only grew as you and I continued to see each other and she was really happy to be having her first grandchild. She took me shopping and helped out with other things along with my mom. The pregnancy resulted in them developing a friendship, which made me even happier.

The girls in the neighbourhood were all completely horrified to find out that I was going to have your baby and I heard rumours that the baby wasn't yours and I was only trying to make you claim it because I had no means of supporting it. We knew that this wasn't true so it really didn't bother me. I was supported by both my family and yours and continued to attend classes at college until a month before the baby was born. I received barrels and barrels of stuff from aunts, uncles and cousins all excited that tiny me was going to have a baby. Almost every week my friends would turn up at the house with stuff for the baby but with you and our mothers it was a daily ritual to walk in with some little thing or other that you think was absolutely adorable.

About two and a half months before my due date you began to sleep at my house or vice versa since I had a few personal fears. The morning that I went into labour I was spending the night at your house. I woke feeling uncomfortable and was unable to fall asleep again. Eventually I woke you up and you tried unsuccessfully to get me to go back to sleep. Finally you gave up trying and lay with me wrapped in your arms rubbing my stomach and singing softly in my ear. It was during this tender moment I felt water begin to flow from my body.

You cleaned up as best you could and then proceeded to wake our parents. We all climbed into my uncle's taxi at 4:30 while your stepfather stayed at home with your four year old sister. Exactly five and a half hours later our baby girl Angel was born at five pounds two and a half ounces. All of us were ecstatic, both our moms ran around calling everyone they could think of while my dad simply kissed me on the forehead then stood back and watched as you and I marvelled at our little miracle, as she quickly became known.

I spent two days in the hospital after her birth and when I was allowed to go home I had a whole army of people around me, friends and family alike who all helped a great deal. On August 13th her christening ceremony was held at the same location as mine eighteen years ago. We named her Angel Amor and my closest cousin, my oldest friend and my 'adopted mother' all pledged to assist us in raising her in the Christian way.

At night you were always there to feed her and take care of her and just like me and my dad night time was your play time with her and it still is. She's celebrating her first birthday tomorrow and I just wanted to let you know that nothing can ever give me the same feeling as the one I get in my heart when I look at our daughter or I hear you sing My Angel and you will always be my Prince Charming. I hope that we can raise our little miracle to know that true love really does exist and I want her to know true love the way that I do with you.

Written on March 15 & 16, 2006