Most times, I am more idea than artist. Old pictures show a detailed still-frame of me and the girls I used to like, hanging out, having a good time. Most times, I am an idea - more substantial than just a name, but less substantial than a filled body. That's it - a place filler. Only in varied company, mind you. And that was what I was, most days; just there for a satiric comment or a sarcastic phrase, and the occasional correction of grammar. Sometimes we would, we could sit out at all hours of the morning and drink. And the girls were drunk, the boys were drunk, and everyone was a part of each other. Except for the writer concept on the corner of the patio, holding a glass filled with liquid fire on the concrete and making up shit about shit. And everyone was a part of everyone who was a part of the next person. And the next day suddenly you felt sick from masturbating and not even caring when you finished.
It is far more easy to hold yourself in your hand and be upset when the time comes to separate. And it is also far more easy to drink when you have friends around to tell you you're a shit. And it is also far more easy to think and not say a word, because carrying around this baggage... feels good. And you would hate to leave your baggage behind, you are not used to being lighter than you were before.