Betcha Can't
Chapter Two: Business and Pleasure
01272009 – 0153A

AN: Chapter two. I felt bad about the last chapter being so short, so I hurried to update. I hope that makes some potential reviewers happy. *hint hint*

I'd like to add a disclaimer of sorts: The place that Ryan and Gavin work, ResCare, really exists. HOWEVER, due to HIPA laws, I feel the need to point out that NONE of the consumers in this story really exist, to my knowledge, and I do not share Gavin's evil, crass, uncouth, politically incorrect views on his job and the consumers. Okay. That being said…

Music is "Hope it Gives You Hell" by The All-American Rejects.

Please enjoy!


Ryan Rakers was one of my coworkers on first shift at a company called ResCare. We take care of retards all day. We feed them, watch them, and clean up their shit.

It's a pretty easy job most days. But every now and then one of the 'tards goes out of their fucking mind and you have to dodge a few punches.

There are eight consumers (that's what I'm supposed to call them, not patients, not clients, and most especially not "tards") in the house, and three QSAs (that's the fancy term for tardsitters) on first shift, which is ass-early to mid-afternoon.

There's a lot of down time, which means that out of necessity of sheer boredom, you learn a lot about your coworkers. Some say it makes them feel like family. I say it makes me feel like ripping their throats out through their mouths.

I don't know, maybe some of the QSAs would've been interesting if I had listened to them. But I felt no need to. People in general bother me.

But one of the great things about being aloof and indifferent, if not rude, is that when you do spare a bit of kindness for someone, they really notice.

So when I walked into the house Monday morning, I shot Ryan a winning, seemingly-genuine smile.

He nearly shit in surprise as he blushed and looked around in what he seemed to think was a casual manner, as if to ensure that I was smiling at him and not someone else. As if I would spare a smile for someone else. Of course, before the verdict of the poker game the night before, I wouldn't have spared one for him, either.

"Good morning, Ryan," I greeted warmly. He smiled.

"Uhm… Morning, Gavin… You seem to be in a good mood," he observed carefully.

Ah, it would seem that way, wouldn't it, you little shit?

Hmm… sometimes even I have to wonder where those bouts of spitefulness come from.

"Ah, that I am," I answered with another charming smile. I could almost feel my teeth sparkle. Ryan didn't stand a chance. Ah, but must not come on too heavy, I thought to myself, and just as he opened his mouth to speak, possibly even to ask why or (god forbid) to tell me why he was particularly wonderful today, I walked away.

I'm not one to just get my dares "over with".

I like to play with them first, a little give and take. That's why I like it best when Lindsay comes up with my dares. She never imposes a time limit.

Oh, of course I planned to follow through and woo Ryan Rakers right into my bed. But first… first I would play. It would make it that much sweeter when we came together again for poker night, and we could all have a good laugh at his incredible naiveté.

Because make no mistake, Lindsay, Aaron, and Michael were every bit as callous as I was.

They just weren't as open about it.


"So how's your mum doing?" I asked offhand. I remembered vaguely that Ryan had mentioned his mother being in some sort of poor health.

"Oh, you know. Chemo's giving her a rough time," he started, his eyes sad.

"I'm sorry to hear that," I consoled, looking every bit the concerned colleague.

"Yeah. But she's still got fight, you know. She's not allowed to lift more than two pounds because she just got her access put in, and when I went to check up on her the other day, she was doing laundry, but she couldn't lift the basket. So she was just kind of kicking it across the floor toward the washer. I went to help her with it and she just went off, yelling, 'I HAVE CANCER! I'M NOT DYING! I CAN DO IT MYSELF!'" he smiled to himself.

I felt like I was going to slip into a coma for how much I did not care about that story.

"Well, at least she's not letting it rule her life," I said. I was pretty sure that was what I was supposed to say in this situation. It sounded right, anyway.

At any rate, Ryan gave me a dazzling smile and nodded. God, this was going to be a piece of cake.

"Yeah, true." He looked at me thoughtfully. "You know, you're really not that bad when you actually interact with people."

I smiled back. My face was starting to hurt.

"Yeah well," I started, finally finished dishing out whatever pureed crap we were serving the tards today. "Time to go… feed some consumers." My auto-sensor kicked on before I said "slop some tards", for which I was grateful. I didn't think Ryan would be at all impressed by that.


AN: I would just like to say again that I DO NOT agree with what Gavin said about people with MR/DD. He is my character. That does not mean I share his views. My mom actually bitched me out when I was in elementary for using the word "tard", and except for in this chapter, I haven't used it since. Please do not judge me on this, and do not take this chapter as guidelines for how to view these people.

Anywho, replies for the last chapter? Yes, I think so.

Le1chi: Yes, there's just something about them that tickles your funny bone, isn't there. Although I get the feeling Gavin is a bit more hated after this chapter, more than likely. Oh well. It'll get worse before it gets better.

just give me november: Lol. Indeed they're fun. And I'm glad you're excited about it. I'm pretty excited about it, too. Although, I feel bad for my poor abandoned stories. Sigh. I really need to work on some of them.

Casey and the Winter Snow Bear: Gah. You keep changing your name. And noooo! I must know what you were going to say! Tell meeee! And well… It does have to do with doing Ryan Rakers. But not in the terms you guessed. Nice try though. Five points for effort. And five points cause I love you. Shh. Don't tell Gavin.

EndureDarkness03: Ah, thank you. You flatter me. :D

NekoRinChan: Yeah, it's snowing here too, and it's making my brain all fuzzy, as well. Which is probably where this relatively-mindless drivel of a story came from. XD

-Epitome of Bold: Haha, probably not the best reason, no. But oh well. I like him too, secretly. But I feel like I should hate him. What a paradox, no?

firestar627: Very good. Five points. I figured the cliché would be fairly obvious. Lol. Glad someone got it. And thank you so, so very much for the kind words. It means so much to me as a writer. Loves for you! :D

Everyone review and I'll… do a striptease!


Okay. Everyone review and I'll leave my clothes on!

Better? Thought so.