I wish I could still talk to you
Like we use to, I mean.
It's not like we were best friends or anything.
I know that's a special place you hold for her.
And I know that I can't trust you enough to make you mine.
I wish I could tell you what's going on in my head.
I want to, I do, but you wouldn't understand.
At least, I don't think you would.
I know you would try to,
But you would just end up worrying about me.
I know how you are and I know you would try to help,
But I don't think anyone can help me now.
I wish I could make this all okay.
If only I didn't feel anything for you.
Maybe I would be able to talk to you
If my emotions didn't always get in the way.
I hate not being able to open up to you.
Why is it that I can open up to a stranger, but not to you?
I wish I didn't have doubts when it comes to trusting you.
Why can't I just tell you what you want to know?
Maybe it's because what other people think of me doesn't matter.
Maybe it's because what you think of me does.
I shouldn't, but I can't help but be self-conscience around you.
Your opinion of me is becoming a big influence on my life.
I wish I didn't care about what you think of me.
It makes it too hard to talk to you.
I just can't start a conversation with you.
I use to be able to spontaneously talk to you
At random times about random things,
I just can't do that anymore.
I wish things would go back to how they were before.
Before I told you I had these feelings for you.
Before I became avoidant and scared to talk to you.
Before, when I would tell you anything you wanted to know
And not worry about what you would say or think.
I want our old friendship back buddy,
I just want everything to somehow be okay.