i wish that when mom noticed
my red face, my crying eyes,
that she actually had the time
to fight with me and make me
talk to her.

i wish that i could tell my dad
everything that i hold inside
and that he could do more
than just pull me into a hug
that i don't even know if i want.

i wish that jimmy noticed,
period.

i wish that john was home
so he could tell me how absurdly,
ridiculously, pathetically stupid
i was, running the car into
the shed door.

i wish that it was just that i hit
the door with the car.

but it's never been about the stupid car.