i dress myself, so beautiful
and so radiant, changing
the torn jeans i borrowed
from john for the tightest
i own and replacing my
yellow hoodie with one
of my least favorite, but
most amazing, shirts. i
wore this one for his
graduation, white background
with blues and purples
smeared across. i realize,
too late, perhaps, that
a girl as white and bland
as me should not wear
this shirt. and yet, i keep
this shirt on, staring at my
reflection, hoping that it'll
do something more than
just plainly glare back,
hoping that it'll move
of its own accord and
make something amazing
happen. i wish more than
ever that i had somewhere
to go, some kind of formal
(ish) party to go to, some-
thing to dress up for,
something to force me
into looking nice for once,
but i know that if there
was a party going on,
i wouldn't have been
invited anyway; and i
wouldn't have wanted
to go to a formal,
pretty party.