i'm crunching pecans and mini oreos between my teeth, thinking about writing about you.


about how you're going to ask someone prettier and skinnier to winter formal, and how even though i knew this would happen, my heart still shattered into a million splinters, and i thought it would only hurt once, but every time i tried to piece my heart back together the splinters sliced my hands open and now i'm bleeding and breaking all over again.


about how you probably didn't think about me the whole vacation and how i didn't think of anything but you.


about how my heart feels like its being crushed by something with constrictive serpentine muscles infused with shards of broken beer bottles, and how i'm asphyxiated sharply by the alcohol stained glass when you're gone.


about how i miss, miss, miss, about how i miss you so badly that i can't stop crying long enough to breathe, and the lack of oxygen causes funny black spots to create dark fireworks in front of my eyes.


about how you gave me your number and i'm too afraid to call you because i won't say the right words, or breathe the right way, or be the right person for you.


1.10.09