Dancing dashes across her arm

(cut . cut . cut. )

& she can tell you the significance of every scar

of every time she's ever taken that oh so tempting shiny razor blade of hers and decided to glide it across her porcelain skin until she feels pain and sees crimson

and she can tell you why she did it each and every time, and how wounding herself makes her feel better, but shes not better. she hurts more now than she has ever hurt before .

but those scars remind her everyday when she pulls up her sleeve that the past is real and people, emotions, and feelings never change

and she always tells herself that this will be the final cut

that she'll find a new way to deal with the pain

but within days, she falls back into old habit

and the wounds reopen

and she also tells herself when she is in her darkest of hours, that this will be the final cut, she'll cut so deep and bleed crimson until she dies

but she never has the courage to take the blade deep enough

she's afraid of dying

(she's afraid of what's on the other side .)

she knows where suicides go

(where those go who knew that life wasn't for them)

and she is afraid

and she keeps telling herself that life will get better

she'll be beautiful someday

she'll find someone who will love her, and not treat her like an object

people will appreciate her, not laugh at her

her parents will be proud of her

but as she tastes those bitter tears streaming down her face as she makes the final cut she is hit by the stunning realization that she'll never be any of those things, no matter how hard she tries

so she bites her ruby red lips until she can taste the salt in her blood and tears as she presses deeper, harder unto her skin, more than ever before

and as she lays on the icy tile on the bathroom floor, she feels her life being drained from her

(I only wish I could have been worth something in this life, and not a waste of a life.)

-

-

-

& she fades to black


A/n: I don't know about this piece . I haven't written in awhile, and I'm really sorry, but I hope you enjoyed.

Btw, I don't cut, so if you think this is total bs then I'm sorry, but I do feel the emotions that are expressed in this piece.